It's been a while since my last post but I've been going through bouts of emotional highs and lows. Let me see if I can back track and outline what's been going on in my world.
09/18/2011 - Had my first baby shower courtesy of the woman at church. Terri and Nancy, you guys are the best. I had a really good time. My mom, sister and niece came. It was good to see my sister since I had not seen her in months. I miss her. I got a lot of great gifts for the girls.
09/19/2011 - My appointment this morning didn't go great, but it wasn't horrible. The girls are measuring the same and weights are good. Gracie was practicing her breathing. It was adorable. The only negative of my appointment is my cervix is shortening. It was at a range of 2.5 to 2.7. The doctor suggested bed rest but told me to go to my primary OB and get his opinion.
09/23/2011 - Mac and I went to the appointment with my OB who said that today would be my last day at work. He wanted me to go on modified bed rest as of Monday. He doesn't want my cervix to shortening anymore.
09/26/2011 - My weekly appointment went well. My cervix has stayed the same. Looks like modified bed rest is helping. Had my Rhogam shot. I had been terrified for months but it ended up going great because I didn't have to get it in my hips. Yay!
10/02/2011 - Had my second baby shower. Kim, Missy and Erin, you awesome!!! It was awesome to be around such good friends. I got a lot of great things for the girls. I can't wait to put away all the cute clothes and wow... we have a lot of diapers. I think over 500 now. Nice!
10/03/2011 - Another appointment. Mom went with me. They checked my cervix, which went from a 2.7-2.17 in one week. I was put on strict bed rest. This was not good news because there is just WAY too much that needs to be done.
10/08/2011 - Received devastating news early this morning. A very dear friend of mine Liz passed away the night before. She had been battling Esphogeal Cancer, but we thought she was doing better. I know she felt under the weather, but this was the last thing I expected. Mac was just over to see her on Wednesday night. My heart is broken. I love this woman more then words can explain. She had a soul like no other and taught me a lot over the 20+ years I've known her. I feel for her family, especially her mom and son. I just know what to say. So sad right now!
10/10/2011 - What a day! My hour and a half week appointment turned into four hours. My cervix had shortened from a 2.3 to 1.9. So I'm still on continued strict bed rest. They checked the girls measurements. Hailie's estimated weight is 3lbs/9oz and Gracie's weight is 3lbs/4oz. My mom, Mac and I all didn't think there was a huge difference, however, the doctor was concerned and ordered more tests. She said what may not seem like a big difference actually is. That they need to monitor me a little more closely (not sure how much more they expect), which will include weekly hookups on the monitor and that they'll do another weight check on the girls in two weeks. I asked if there was anything I could do... drink more Ensure, eat more protein and her answer was a resounding... no... there is nothing I can do. That if she isn't picking up weight when they recheck then they'll have to do more testing. They'll check to see if it's being caused by the placenta or growth restriction. She said if it is growth restriction that they'll probably go ahead and take the girls early. She wants to start steroid injections just in case that happens.
We are praying that the girls continue to grow and that Gracie catches up quickly. I can't say I'm not afraid but I put all my trust in the Lord. He is the only one in control and I have my faith which keeps me from completely breaking down with worry.
10/11/2011 - Taking it easy today. Verizon came by to relocate the router out of the girls nursery. Now my mom can get busy on decorating the way she wants. Well some what the way she wants... haha... I can't relinquish full control.
The viewing for Liz is this evening, but I wasn't cleared to go. Mac is going to the funeral tomorrow. I hate that I can't be there, but the emotional stress they feel will be too much. I know it's for the best but I just hate it. She used to refer to the girls as her little "olives" and I know she would want me to keep them safe. I miss you momma! RIP
I have an appointment on Thursday with my primary OB. Not sure if she'll send me for the steroid injection or not. Everyone I've spoken to that has had them said that they give them to you in your behind. Oh great... I dodged the Rhogam injection in the behind but I don't think I'm going to dodge this one. I have to do what is best for the girls.
Still not sleeping. Between the back pain, frequent trips to the bathroom and Gracie's feet in my ribs, it doesn't leave much time for sleeping. I find myself watching TV or just staring at the ceiling. I think the worst part is knowing that I'll be laying in the bed or couch for the rest of the day... only getting up to use the restroom. I am happy to be at home though, so I'm not complaining.
Thank you all for your continued prayers!
Stay tuned...
