This past weekend was a roller coaster.
Friday night my mom, step-father and I went to the first 'Prayer Meeting' at our new church facility. There weren't that many people in attendance but it was a good turnout for being the first time we've ever done something like this. Pastor Rusty explained to us that we would pray for 45 minutes. We could pray by ourselves, in a group, outside, out loud, by ourselves, etc. We could pray anyway we wanted to. Being a new Christian I felt a little nervous about where I was going to pray. I knew all the people I wanted to pray for, but I've never been good at praying and always question whether I'm doing it right. Then Pastor Rusty said that there is no wrong way when it comes to praying, it's just us talking to our Heavenly Father. With that being said, I was ready to kick off my 45 minutes of prayer, when out of the blue, Pastor Rusty came over and sat on the floor in front of my family and asked if he could pray with us. DO WHAT? Out of all the people in the auditorium, he wanted to pray with us? One of the most dysfunctional families probably at the church? WOW... I felt honored! And intimidated. My fear about not praying punched me right in the stomach. I was convinced I wasn't going to speak. There was a brief minute of awkward silence, which always leaves me wondering who is going to speak up first. Thank God Pastor Rusty said he'd start us off. After he prayed, another minute of awkward silence, and then Sam began to pray. Then my mom started to pray. I was thinking to myself I want to blurt out some prayers here but I don't know how. Then all of a sudden I just did it. My first prayer went out to the Coleman Family, then my own family, then the volunteers, and then... I was on a roll. I wasn't worrying about how to pray anymore. The words may have sounded like gibberish, but God knew what I was trying to say. After the 45 minutes of prayer, we hung out with Pastor Rusty for a bit, then left. I was so proud of my mom and Sam for letting go of any fears they had about praying in front of the Pastor and for not letting feeling
vulnerable heed their time to speak to our Father in Heaven. I was also proud of myself. It was an awesome
experience and I hope we do it again.
Saturday was a rainy day. I didn't feel guilty for being lazy. We laid around most of the day and then went to Potomac Mills to meet up with a friend to do some shopping and grab a bite. Pretty unproductive day, but it was nice.
Sunday we woke up to a beautiful day. The rays from the sun were beaming through the window. Zelda and I went for our morning walk, which wasn't as good as I hoped for. As we walked down the street a squirrel popped out from behind a bush and Zelda freaked out. She took off and I went flying into some man's yard, whom just so happen to be outside smoking and witnessed the incident. It
could've been worse I know, but thanks to my quick reflexes I was able to stay on my feet this time. Next walk I will bring a water bomb with her name on it. She better straighten up. After our walk we were getting ready to leave for church, when I checked my blackberry and there was a message from my mom letting me know that Sam's mom had a massive stroke early that morning and they didn't know if she would make it. Not such a beautiful day
after all. We went to church anyway. The message just so happen to be about making a fresh start. I prayed and prayed that Hanna would pull through it. No real change as of today but there have been a few positive signs. I left Pastor Rusty know, as well as a couple other church members Sam is close to and they are going to include them in their prayers.
Monday was just a weird day. Had my
dermo appointment in the morning. I spent all that time in the waiting room just to have the doctor tell me that I need to stay out of the sun.
Hmm? I think I will skip medical school and just open up my own practice. More money and I can just tell you what you already know. Anyway, worked all day and then had small group. It turned out pretty good. We stayed on topic and it ended up being something I think we all needed. I'm excited to read our next book, Captivating. Left group on time for once and ended waiting at
CVS for 45
mins for my prescriptions. Ridiculous! When I got home Mac told me that my mom's best friend of 30 years and my old coworker had a stroke on Saturday and they didn't know if she was going to make it. WOW... wasn't expecting that wrench to hit me as soon as I walked through the door. I called my mom and we talked until about midnight. As tired as I was, she needed me more.
I'm saddened today but all the grief my family has had to endure throughout 2008. I'm not questioning why this is happening to us anymore. I'm starting to question what are we suppose to learn from this? What does God want us to see? I haven't found the answers yet, but I haven't really asked him either. I think I'm afraid to find out.