Where Has a Year Gone?

On Sunday my beautiful niece Reese and my brother-in-law Kevin stopped by to see the girls.  They ended up staying all day and I don't know who had more fun... Mac & I, Kevin & Reese, or the girls.  I think we all enjoyed our time together.  Even though we live 3.9 miles from each other, life gets in the way so we don't see each other that often.  So Sunday was a pleasant treat!  Kevin gave me a DVD he made for the girls 1st birthday.  He apologized for being late but again, life gets in the way.  Mac was eager to watch it and quickly cut the girls movie off, "Elmo's Music Magic".  Don't go buy it... it's one of those DVD's where every song gets stuck in your head.  Just yesterday I was cleaning up the boardroom at work and caught myself singing, "Sing a Song" out loud.  Apparently I had been doing it all day.  Mommy brain I know!!!

Here is the movie he made.  Trust me when I tell you that it took everything I had not to bust out weeping.  I managed to hold most of the tears in but there were a few evident.  I made an excuse to hop in the shower and that is where I let them roll.  And the reason for the tears are many... missing the "newness" of the girls, missing the "smallness", missing the "needingness", but also happy for all that they accomplished and overcome, happy about fun memories we are currently making, and just an overwhelming feeling of being beyond blessed with these two miracles. 

I was thinking about what I would be doing right at that particular moment if God hadn't chosen that to be our time to have the girls, and I felt so empty.  My heart literally broke at that moment.  The past year has been filled with all types of moments... happy, sad, glad, mad, crazy, trying, troubled, challenged, fearful, cheerful, grateful but most of all blessed moments.  When I look into the eyes of my precious girls I get a feeling that is indescribable.  It's one you'll never know because it's unique to us and God.  If you know our back story on these girls, you'll understand why.

Though, I think my brother-in-law did an amazing job at capturing a little bit of that unique feeling.  I hope you enjoy watching and if you shed a tear or two, that's okay.  Just click on the link below.

The Girls 1st Year!

Thank You, God, for Daddy

As a follow up to my last post, I figured I would share my thoughts as they scrambled around in my head as I was reading to Gracie last night.

"Thank You, God, for Daddy" by Amy Parker

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
The best hero around!
I know I can depend on him-
He never lets me down!

You're right cupcakes... you can always depend on your daddy. He has always jumped when ever we've needed him to. Regardless of what he has going on that day, he has never let us down. He's not only your hero, he's mommies too!

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He leads me as I grow-
He wants me to be kind and good;
He teaches all he knows.

Daddy has always been a kind person. He shows respect for others and I'm confident you will do the same. Right now he's trying to teach you patience. Oh my little Gracie Poo, you're giving him a run for his money. Haha.

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He works hard every day
And takes care of our family
In oh so many ways!

Daddy definitely has works hard at his job every day. And he takes care of all of us in his own ways. Not always the way mommy wants but his good out ways his bad.

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He is my biggest fan-
He cheers me on to do my best;
He shows me that I can!

Girls, you have no idea how much of a fan your daddy is. You make him smile every day. He marvels at how smart and how physically strong you two are. He often jokes, "They must get all that from their daddy!". It's quite cute!

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He rebuilds broken things.
He works until he gets it right.
He can fix anything!

I will reserve comment.

Thank You, God, for Daddy-
He always does his part.
When Daddy sees someone in need,
He gives straight from the heart.

Your daddy's heart is enormous!!!! He is a giver without question. Daddy always lends a helping hand to those in need. Hailie Boo, I see a lot of your daddy in you... always helping mommy clean the house. I love to see you following close behind me with the big person's broom. Thank you baby!

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
I know he trusts in you.
I know he asks you questions, and
I know you answer too.

Your daddy has a private relationship with God, but I know he believes in Him and knows that you two are proof that He really does exist.

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He scares monsters away.
When Daddy says, "Don't be afraid."
I know that it's okay.

Right now you are too young to say whether you see monsters, but I know he'll be right there to scare them away when you need him too.

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He hugs me big and tight.
All I need is a Daddy squeeze,
And everything's all right!

It warms my heart when I see your daddy hug you so tightly. Whether you're playing, or whether you've bumped your head, he scopes you up, gives you a big squeeze and a ton of kisses until you've forgotten what happened.

Thank You, God, for Daddy
And all that daddies do.
It shows me that he loves me, and...
Daddy, I love you too!

Oh my little princesses, daddy loves you more than you'll ever know. He tells you every day how pretty you are and just how much you mean to him. You have yourself a great daddy. We are all blessed to have him be ALL ours!!!!

Thank You, God, for Mommy

Since I had the girls 14 months ago, my life seems to be all about schedules and routines.  I feel so rushed in this life.  Even though I spent the first five months at home with the girls, I still feel as if I'm chasing time.

One of my favorite routines is story time right before bed.  I work all day so when I get home I have limited quality time to bond with my girls.  But story time is "our" time.  I get to hold them, smell them, talk to them, stare at them.  We don't read the same books every night, but there are a couple regulars we like, and so do they.  As I read to Hailie the other night, the words on the book were jumping out at me and my heart started to get heavy.  I had read this book so many times before, why would this happen to me now?  Below are the words to the book and my thoughts as was reading to my little girl.

"Thank You God, for Mommy" by Amy Parker

Thank You, God, for Mommy.
We're just the perfect pair-
I couldn't find a better Mom
If I searched everywhere!

Oh girls, I do believe we're a perfect pair.  God's sense of humor is the best.  And yes, you could find a better mom.  One who knows what she's doing.  One who knows patience, kindness, and goodness.  One who doesn't lose it at times and say things like, "That's enough!" or "I'm not playing around today.  I'm serious."  Really, who says things like that to their babies?  Your mom does.  So yeah, I think you deserve better than me.  I know you can't fully comprehend this, but I love you more than life itself.

Thank You, God, for Mommy,
Her smile that shines so bright!
Whenever something makes me sad,
She shows me it's all right.

I will always try and show you it's all right.  I will always tell you the truth, even if it hurts a little.   I will always hold you when your sad.  And I will always love you, even when your mad.  Your happiness is so very important to me and your infectious little smiles are what makes me smile.

Thank You, God, for Mommy.
She's oh so patient when
My uh-ohs become big messes;
She helps me try again.

You have had quite a few "uh-ohs" since you started walking but mommy promised to always try and help you and not punish you.  I understand you're curious and anytime there are "uh-ohs" I know they are accidents and can be fixed.  And even if they can't, then oh well.  Nothing is more important in this life than love and lessons.  I don't always feel like I'm patient, especially in the early morning hours when we're all rushing to get out of the door on time.  Mommy is sorry for these moments girls.  If I could be at home with you all the time I would.  So if mommy has a few days where her patience is running thin, I ask that you forgive me and I will try to do better.

Thank You, God, for Mommy.
She cares for big and small.
She doesn't have to say a word-
Her actions say it all.

Mommy hopes that she can instill in you how important it is to care for others.  When someone comes to you in need, you take time out of your busy life to help them.  Whether it be a listening ear or a supportive shoulder, just be there for them.

Thank You, God, for Mommy,
Her gentle, loving touch-
Boo-boo kisses on bandaged knees
Makes it not hurt so much.

Girls, if you're anything like me you're going to get dirty and hurt a lot.  We have fun when we play!!!  But mommy is also very clumsy.  I'm afraid Gracie, you might be just like me.  Every time you bump your little head on the wall, floor or table, I always grab you and try to kill your boo-boo.  You always look at me like I'm crazy and then struggle to get out of my arms.  I promise you though that I will be there to kiss your boo-boo and will continue to be there for you while you heal.

Thank You, God, for Mommy.
She turns frowns upside down
With goofy games, silly faces,
And time to close around.

Of course we're going to clown around.  Don't take life so serious!  I would give anything to never have to see a frown on your angelic faces.  Your mommy is also just plain goofy.  Sometimes I forget I'm an adult.  Do I make you smile?

Thank You, God, for Mommy,
Her arms that hold me near.
When lighting strikes and thunder booms,
She helps to calm my fear.

Oh you have no idea!  Gracie, you have had less than a handful of night terrors, and that possibly was the second most scariest thing I've ever been through.  I did my best to try and calm your fears and it took a while but I was successful.  Of course the very first time it happened, I held you in my arms all night long, so scared something would happen.  Your doctor told me I should have never picked you up.  Yeah right!  I'll never let you go through anything like that alone.  Do you trust me to keep you safe?

Thank You, God, for Mommy,
Her trust and faith in You.
She looks to you for answers, and
She knows you'll see us though.

Mommy has been struggling with this lately.  My faith is constantly being tested.  I don't believe God ever gives us anything bigger than what we can deal with now.  I do believe he tests us to get us through, but I will admit I have failed lately.  In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I have forgotten to pray.  I know I need to get back to praying daily.  God is the only one who knows my heart and he knows that I know what I need to do.  I still look to him for answers and always will.  I can't wait to teach you all about him!

Thank You, God, for Mommy
And lullabies so sweet-
The rhythm of her beating heart
Can sing me right to sleep.


Some of my best memories are of rocking you to sleep while singing "Hush Little Baby".  Or just humming "Rock-a-bye Baby".  Hailie you would never sleep upright on daddy's chest but as soon as your would lay your head down on mommy's chest, you would fall fast asleep.  It was pure bliss for you and me.

Thank You, God, for Mommy.
No matter what I do,
My Mommy always loves me, and...
Mommy, I love you too!

Thank You, God, for Hailie and Gracie!  Thank You, for trusting us!  We know they are true miracles and designed by your hand specifically for us.  I pray that we make you proud and them. 

Hailie & Gracie, mommy loves you as much as a mommy can love!

14 Months... And We're Moving People!!!

I obviously have some back tracking to do since I haven't blogged in a few months. Let me start with the girls 1st birthday that took place on Saturday, November 17, 2012.

The girls spent the better part of that week sick... very sick. I took them in a few times just to be told it was teething or a common cold. They seemed to be doing a little better the day before their birthday so we kept the party on schedule. They did very well the day of and even took a good three hour nap for mommy/daddy so we could get things set up. We did a cupcake themed party because well, they are my little cupcakes that I always say were baked to perfection inside mommies tummy. We had Lasagna Cupcakes, Pizza Cupcakes, Strawberry Cupcakes, and two Colossal Cupcakes. I give credit to a friend/coworker Stephanie Osborne for taking time out of her busy week to make the Colossal Cupcakes and then show up on Saturday morning (early) with the unexpected Lasagna Cupcakes. This young woman is awesome! I reached out of my comfort zone and attempted to make the Pizza Cupcakes, a Caprese Salad and Tri-color Pasta Dish. All of which got great reviews! As Stephanie would say... SCORE!

The decorations came out better than I expected.  I had a bit of trouble the night before because I forgot to order balloons.  Yikes!  I made a mad dash to Party City in Springfield to try and get the coordinating balloons.  I arrived at 9:58pm, just two minutes before closing.  They didn't have the cupcake balloon I needed, except in a package deal for $20.  I only needed one balloon out of the package and that was the very big cupcake.  The one balloon was $16.99 and I was willing to pay that... don't ask... I was tired and it was late.  I wasn't about to pay $25.00 for a package of five balloons when I only needed one.  The young, high school aged girl told me she would just give me the one balloon out of there for the same price as the one on the wall, BUT her manager wouldn't let her.  So you know me, I asked to speak to him/her.  That's when Herold popped around the corner.  He was the store manager and quickly told me that he couldn't open up a perfectly good package of balloons just to sell me one.  So I quickly told him that it wasn't my fault he was out of the one and only balloon I needed and that it shouldn't be advertised that the item is still available.  I asked him to just sell me the balloon that was on the wall since it was already blown up.  He said he couldn't do that because it was filled with something Nitrogen something or other and wouldn't float.  I must admit that it took a minute to process it because I clearly saw it floating on the wall.  Yeah... don't ask.  Herold shook his head at me and said... NO!  Did Herold know who he was talking to?  I mean I'm sure he was quite amused by the little 4'11" blonde woman who showed up at 9:58pm on a Friday evening in her pj's and slippers with hair is in a jacked up ponytail/bun/wispy updo.  Did he not see the look of desperation with a side of, "It's my twins 1st birthday and I WANT that dang balloon and if you don't sell it to me I'm going to have a breakdown right in the middle of your store, which will keep you here even later than you are right now."  It took me a few minutes to gather my jumbled thoughts and came up with this... "Herold... Herold... Herold... do you know what tomorrow is?  Do you know that it's my twin girls 1st birthday?  I mean it's kind of a big deal Herold.  I just spent a lot of money in here last week buy every type of cupcake decoration you have.  The only thing that would make this complete and no less than perfect Herold is that one balloon.  Do you see my dilemma Herold?  Can you imagine the look of disappointment on my girls faces when they don't get a BIG CUPCAKE balloon?  Work with me Herold?  I know you have a heart in there."  As I proceed to poke my finger on his chest multiple times.

Herold walks away from me... then turns around, comes back and tells the young high school aged girl to give me the one cupcake balloon out of the package for the same price as the one on the wall.  I mean in my mind I'm thinking, "Well duh Herold, does kinda seem fair since you're out of the exact same balloon that is sold individually."  But I was making progress with Herold so I kept my thoughts in my thought bubble.  I quickly turned in Herold's direction and ran to him and gave him a HUGE hug.  He was scared.  I mean who wouldn't be.  He then looked at the young high school aged girl and told her to give me the entire package of cupcake balloons for $15.99 and then he quickly took off down the aisle.  I yelled to him, "YOU'RE THE MAN HEROLD, YOU'RE THE MAN!"  He yelled back, "I KNOW!  I'M A TWIN MYSELF."  Haha!!!!

Now with all the logistics out of the way, its time to talk about the party.  The girls had so much fun having their Cousins Marty and Reese, Aunt Brandy, Uncle Kevin, Grandma Pat, Grandma Sandy, and Grandad Sam hangout with them all day.  They even missed their afternoon nap, which was okay for this one occasion.  What I should have realized earlier was that my girls never had taken long naps like that before so it should have been a red flag. The party was success up until Gracie started struggling to breathe.  Then Hailie.  My first thought was allergies to something cooked or baked, so we rushed the girls to the ER.  The doctor on call basically said we wasted our time bringing them in because it was just a cold and that babies who have post nasal drip or a lot of mucus will cough, which will make it seem like they can't breathe.  She said she was more concerned with Hailie because she has a murmur but she wasn't concerned enough to give her nebulizer treatments.  I was so drained I didn't question her, which I usually would because I knew something was wrong with my girls.  We went ahead and took the girls home since it was late and they were tired.

Two days later we took the girls to their regular doctor (because they were closed Sunday), and it turns out the girls both had RSV.  I was beyond mad... I was in a rage and ready to go back up and find that doctor.  I didn't obviously because I'm still here to write this blog entry.

Thanksgiving was a few days later and the girls were very sick.  We took them over to my sisters, despite the RSV.  They weren't running fevers and they had been stuck in the house for two weeks (because I would never take them to daycare sick).  We had a nice time at my sisters and got to enjoy a couple days of yummy goodness too.

The girls finally were over the RSV just in time for December to roll around.  Mommy went back to work and they returned daycare.  On December 16th we took them to see Santa for the first time.  That was fun!  Both girls laughed at the big fat man with the white beard (real by the way).  Gracie would wave to him in the line and yell, "Hi Anta!  Hi Anta!".  He couldn't resist the cuteness and messed up a few of this other portraits by waving back to her or looking over at her.  The line was full of laughter and at times waves of "Awws" filled the area we were in as Gracie continued to seek Santa's attention.

Soon after visiting Santa Gracie decided she wanted to start walking.  It was definitely entertaining because every time she would fall forward she would crack up laughing.  This was awesome to watch and I'm so glad that I got it on video.  Now if only I would get around to uploading those.  Haha!

By Monday, Hailie was puking everywhere.  Gracie followed suit a couple days later.  What was suppose to be a fun vacation spent hanging out with just me and my girls turned into weeks of cleaning up tons of vomit and changing the worst dirty diapers ever.  The girls started to feel better after a few days.  Then on the morning of Christmas Eve whatever they had hit me like a ton of bricks.  I will spare you but it did land me in the ER for fluids, Zofran, and Morphine.  I stayed home Christmas Eve while Mac took the girls to open up their one gift.  When they got home Hailie started puking again.  I was determined to stay home on Christmas Day but my family said no, just to bring them over for a little while and then go back home.  So we did.  And the girls were actually feeling much better that day.  Not even a runny nose!  Amen!  I don't even really remember parts of it, but was glad that girls enjoyed their time with their family again.  That night I got a text that my brother-in-law was not feeling good.  Then a few hours later one from my sister.  Then a few hours later one from my mom.  WHAT THE HECK?  This flu going around had been bad.

So I took the next two weeks and did nothing.  Just stayed inside with my girls.  They were doing much better, but the doctors were concerned about the amount of weight they had lost.  I'm happy to report that they actually have gained the weight back and are doing well.  We're just dealing with dealing with teething right now... I'll take that any day over whatever it was they had during the holidays.

I'm only attaching a picture of the girls with Santa and a couple from the photo shoot I did with the girls for our holiday card.  If you want to see all the Christmas photos you'll need to friend me on Facebook.  There's just way too many to post here.

October, November and December were just bad months for sickness with the girls.  I am so thankful they have been doing well since New Year's.  I pray that they have a better year and better health!  These girls are in full walking mode and are a movin' and I really want them to be able to enjoy this phase of their life.

Thank you to everyone who has played a role in my girls short 14 months on this earth!  This include people at church, work, and Facebook.  Although most of you who comment on their pics or videos have never met them, your prayers and thoughts are very much appreciated.  These little cupcakes are love all across the country and I am beyond proud to be their mother!

Happy New Year!!!