Week 3 - FET #1 Journey... Just Around the Bend!

It's been a few weeks since my last post and a lot has been going on. It might not seem like a lot after you read this, but trust me... I have a lot going on.

I started the nasty dreaded BCP's and have gained about 7lbs in three weeks and don't even ask me how many inches. I wouldn't tell you even if I knew, but lets just put it this way... my thighs are having major issues. My outer thigh seem to want to run away from one another and when I walk it's apparent that they don't want to be friends because one swings to the left and the other swings to the right. My inner thighs are at battle with one another on a daily basis and rubbing each other the wrong way. By the end of the day neither one of them or me is very happy. I refuse to resort to baby power at this point because I'm hoping it's just these stupid pills that are causing this. I have one more week of yellow pills then come on mother nature... show me what you've got. Okay not literally, but bring it on. I'm ready to move forward. As soon as she rears her ugly head we'll start the next round of injections. If I didn't mention it already, I take fewer injections this time, but they are all IM (inter-muscular). Do you remember what that means from our first IVF lesson? If you've been keeping up with my blog you know that it means the injections are given to me in my backside. Uh huh... I'm sure I got a few "eews" and "ows" from some of you. Well it's true, these two shots that I will get once every three days, two and three times a day are rough. They are both oil based, so you can imagine something very thick trying to work it's way through a small needle hole into my big rear end. Yeah, its gonna take a while per injection, so less shots, more pain. Yay!!!!!

Oh did I mention the FET is already set for March 21st? Oh sorry, yes, I was complaining and seeking sympathy for a brief moment. The day is set. I'm nervous, anxious and excited all at the same time. These emotions battle one another daily... much like my inner thighs.

These past few weeks have been crazy. Mostly everything that has taken place has been God driven. He has been speaking to me loud and clear. I started a new bible study, "Jonah - Navigating a Life Interrupted", attended a "Art of Marriage" Conference with Mac, and have started going to my women's small group again after a little hiatus due to work conflicts, personal conflicts and health reasons. Let me tell you, it feels good to be back again and to be able to hear God speaking to me. At times my life seems so interrupted that I block out the ability to be able to hear him. I'm telling you, a lot is going on in me right now and it feels good. There are several words I could use to describe it... loved, joy, happiness, PEACE.

I've had the privilege of God interrupting (intervening) in my life lately. I can't tell you how just yet because right now it's pretty personal between him and I. I've told a few wise counsel, but for the moment Gods telling me to lay low with this. See he knows my feelings on it and he's wanting me to wait until he's ready... plus I think he knows that I'm not quite where he wants me to be. But wow, let me tell you, he's stirring some things up inside of me and it feels GOOD!

You know, there is one resounding question I have gotten over the past few years since starting this blog... "With all you've been through, how can you still believe there is a God that loves you?"

WOW... thanks for asking me that... in a nutshell let me lay it out for you... I'M STILL HERE!!!!

That's right, I'm still here! He loved me enough to save me on that icy night three years ago (February 12, 2008). When that car hit me head on at 65+ mph and my car was smashed up to 12" from my face and I walked away without nothing more then some neck and back issues... you're dang right I believe there is a God that loves me. Yes, I have had my fair share of aches, pains, hurts and heartaches, but listen, I'M STILL HERE!!! I know in my heart that he wouldn't let me go through all of this stuff I've been through the past three years for nothing. My God has bigger plans for me. My God has some awesome stuff waiting for me. I may never know what they are on this side of Heaven but believe me I am fine with that. I trust him and I thank him daily!!!!

I will fill you all in later on this bible study because it's pretty darn good. For now though, I'm going to partake in some guilty pleasure TV. See... I'm far from perfect... but I'm human... I'm a work in progress.

Goodnight and stay tuned!