18 Weeks... 2nd Trimester... 151 Days to Go?

So I have some catching up to do. It's been a month since my last post but not much has happened.

June 10 (14 Weeks) - Had an appointment with my OB. She did a quick sono to see how things were going and both babies looked good. Mac went to the appointment with me and got to hear the heartbeats for the first time. I couldn't help but notice the smile on his face. The joy of watching a grown man who never shows any emotions smile like that just melts my heart.

June 23 (16 Weeks) - Had an unscheduled appointment with my OB thanks to the "angry birds" in my neighborhood. Yes, they were physically trying to attack me. I mean literally they were dive bombing at my head and making this horrible screaming noise. All I could think about was the movie "The Birds". I understand they were just protecting their young, but dang, they made me fall up the curb. Didn't they realize that I had to protect my young as well? I guess it's every woman for themselves at this point. It is on!
* Okay I have had enough of these birds. What started out as one or two has now turned into five or six. It's hard to count when their all dive bombing you at the same time. What the heck?
* Yup, I think I proved to those birds that I'm not playing anymore. I have precious cargo to protect too and they can't keep making me sprint, juke and fall off the curb anymore. I now carry a long chain with me and when I get to that street I start swinging it around in the air (like a lasso). If you come within two feet of me again you're going down.
* Mission accomplished. I think we have a mutal understanding now. They stay perched on the power lines while Zelda and I continue on our way.
* Sono was great! Babies looked good.

July 6 (18 Weeks) - Had yet another unscheduled OB appointment. I started having some weird pains on the left side late on the 4th while we were at a friends house. I chalked it up to just overdoing it that day. Come Tuesday afternoon the pain was shifting and it was more piercing. I went in for a quick sono and it turns out that what I was feeling was caused by Baby B moving from the left over to the right. Who is was now laying on top of Baby A.

July 8 (18 Weeks) - The pain has subsided some. I'm gathering Baby B might have gone back to the left side because I had some shifting pain last night. I also received my fetal heart doppler, but I'm not sure how to use it. I might take it to church on Sunday and see if Kim has some time to show me.

As far as any other ailments this week, I woke up Thursday morning with horrible arm/neck pain on my left side. I figured since I'm suppose to be sleeping on my left side that it was just irritated from that, but as the day went on my left ear, shoulder and neck started killing me. By the end of the night it hurt to eat, drink or swallow at all. Woke up this morning in worse pain then when I went to bed. I have a feeling it's either an inner ear infection (but I have no temp) or it's my TMJ flaring up. Regardless, I called the doctor and they said I could take Tylenol, so that's what I'm going to do. Hopefully it will go away because I'm really tired of this pain and I hate taking meds while I'm pregnant.

The nausea is still hanging around but not nearly as bad as in the beginning. I think the Hyperemesis is still there but is being controlled and I'm happy about that. God has heard our prayers and I know he wants me to be able to enjoy some of this pregnancy.

On a good note, I was able to go two days in a row, plus another day in between with no fluids at all. I suspect that I will need to continue on heavy doses of Pepcid because the acid is the worst for me at this point. However, if I can get to five days in a row with no fluids then I can get the PICC line out. My OB doesn't want to do anything until after 20 weeks. I agree and can wait another two or three weeks. I've made it this long, what's a few more weeks?

So we go for the big Level II U/S on Monday, July 25th. I know most of you are anxiously waiting for the news on what we'll be having. It's no secret that Mac and I believe it's two boys, but not to sound too cliche', we'll take whatever God blesses us with. We just want two very healthy and happy babies. I have had so many people tell me their opinions on what we're having (for those that I've asked, this doesn't include you). All of which have been myths, so I thought it would be fun to include some of the myths I've heard and then add my two cents worth. Haha! Here we go:

Little girls aren't always sweet. Extreme nausea means you are having a daughter. - Extreme nausea... isn't that called Hyperemesis! That settles it then, we're having two girls.

Pay attention to which way you lay down in bed tonight. If you prefer sleeping on your left side, you'll have a boy. Right side? Your pregnant with a girl. - Well I usually always sleep on my right side. I only switch to the left side when I realize I'm on my right. No wonder I'm not getting any sleep. Again, girls it is then.

If your hands are dry during pregnancy, you are having a boy; soft -- expect a girl. - My hands are always soft... it's called using lotion. Girls again!

Your favorite pregnancy foods may tell you what sex the baby is. If you're craving citrus while pregnant, you're having a girl. - Well, I have been craving oranges. Again, girls!

If altering hormones makes your skin break out, expect a girl. - Well holy crap! If anyone has seen me lately they would know that my forehead has broken out like a pepperoni pizza. I'm sure I could call Domino's and have them add it to the speciality pizza menu list. Girls again!

If you feel as though you're gliding through they day, you'll have a girl. Stumbling? It's a boy. - Finally... I'm a klutz. I run into at least one wall a day. It's boys!

Craving salt during pregnancy? Potato chips, pretzels, and popcorn means a boy is on the way. Need a little something sweet? Ice cream, chocolate, and candy means you're having a girl. - I crave salty and sweet at the same time so some of you may get your wish according to this. It's a boy and a girl!

If you're experiencing pregnant mood-swings, expect a baby girl to arrive soon. - This could go either way because most of the time I'm just my usual happy self, but honestly, doesn't everyone have a mood swing or two when their pregnant? Seriously!

If you're carrying the baby low on your stomach, expect a boy. If it's high, you're having a girl.
If you're carrying baby in front, it's a boy. Is the baby weight spaced all around your middle? It's a girl. - If you go by this myth (and I've heard it 100 times), then I'm having one of each because my front, middle and back are all gaining at the same speed. Funny they didn't mention anything about what if your legs get so big it looks like you're growing another set of thighs? I mean, let's talk about that one. Where's the myth on that? Huh?

Get baby advice from a nephew or friend's little boy. If a toddler boy shows interest in your belly, you'll have a girl. If he ignores you, it's a boy. - I think of my friend Kim's two boys Justin and Tyler when I am pondering this myth (okay I don't really ponder it). They aren't the least bit interested in my belly so I would assume that they know I'm having two boys? We should ask them Kim.

If you pick up a key by the round end, you're having a boy. If it's by the long end? A girl - What does it mean if I always pick my keys up by the king ring?

And the latest stats according to Facebook:

85% - Boy/Girl
10% - Boy/Boy
5% - Girl/Girl

Stay tuned...

14 Weeks... 2nd Trimester... 186 Days To Go?

I have reached my 2nd trimester finally... but the lovely Hyperemesis hasn't gone away just yet. Good news though, my mornings are tolerable. I still feel nauseous and dizzy but I force myself to eat a little something (english muffin w/peanut butter) before I get my day started. I follow it up with a Zofran (anti-nausea) and some apple juice. The doctors took me off all prenatal vitamin because they were too hard on my stomach. Now I take two flintstones vitamin and two folic acid pills. Did anyone love flintstones vitamins when they were a kid? I know I did and my mom never had to fight with me to take them. Let me just say that they are nothing like they were back in the day. It takes everything I have to chew them. And no, they won't let me take they gummy vitamins because they won't digest, which comes from the Hyperemesis. Anyway, the evenings are still hard. I start fading around 4pm and by 7pm I'm no good. That is the time I get my daily IV fluids/meds. It takes about two and a half hours to finish up everything so by that time I'm either already asleep or about to be.

The weekend was good. Two good weekends in a row. Yay! Saturday Mac didn't have to work so we got up early and went to a friend's sons baseball game. We have seen them in a long time so it was really great to catch up. And their baby girl is so beautiful!!! Can't wait to hangout with them once I'm feeling a little better. After the game we went to the carnival at Springfield Mall so I could get a funnel cake. Yum! The rest of the weekend we just chilled out. Made to church and got to see my three favorite little ones there. I'm sad that I can't run around and play with them but they are wearing Mackie out. Haha!

It was very apparent that God was talking to me yesterday at church. The message was on parenting and it really hit home for me. God knows my struggles and insecurities with my own maternal relationship and I think he wanted me to hear him loud and clear. In my adult years I have only come across a couple girlfriends who actually do things with their mothers. It baffles me every time I'm with one of my friends and her phone rings and it's her mom on the other end just calling to see what she's up to? "Uh, what? Really?" That is foreign to me. But seeing that and hearing about their closeness gives me hope because that is the type of mother I want to be when my kids are older. I want to have a relationship, not just a connection because I gave birth to them. I'm so glad that I have friends that I can learn from and come to for advice. And their moms have really become like surrogates for me. Thank you all... you know who you are!

So Father's Day is approaching fast and I want to get Mac something. Do you have any suggestions for something small to get him? I know it's premature since the babies aren't here yet, but I think it would be nice.

Oh, before I close, we got the results back from the First Trimester Screening, which tests for Down’s Syndrome Trisomy-21 and Trisomy-18. The results were better than expected. Both babies received an A+ and the doctor said even though I'm at "Advanced Maternal Age (36)", that my results were as good as someone who was 20. I go in on July 25th for my "Level II Ultrasound". This is a big one where they look at all areas of the baby. Mac is going to this one and I can't wait to see his face when he hears the heartbeats. So far he has been amazed when I bring home pictures. Next OB appointment is this Friday. Can't wait to see how much they've developed since my belly is now starting to stick out a little more. It doesn't really resemble a baby bump but more like a beer belly. LOL.

Well that's it for now. Hopefully I'll post more now that I'm feeling a little better. Hope you all have a blessed day!

Stay tuned...

11 Weeks... Hyperemesis and Hospitalization

It's been a few weeks since my last post and I hate to say that things have gotten worse. I have been in and out of the emergency room for weeks. My weeks have been nothing short of miserable. Here is a run down of a given week.

Monday & Tuesday
8:30am - Wake up
8:50am - Take a shower. Get sick.
9:15am - Steam work clothes/Get ready for work.
10:15am - Stop at McD's for a CinnaMelt and Half-cut tea (half sweet/half unsweet)
10:30am - Start my day at work (feeling nauseous every minute of the day).
5pm - Drive home praying not to get sick.
6pm - Get sick.
7pm - Try to eat dinner.
7:30pm - Get sick.
8:30pm - Get sick.
9:30pm - Get sick.
10:30pm - Get sick.
11:30pm - Get sick.

Wednesday, Thursday & Friday
Too weak/sick to work.
9am - Wake up (nausea begins).
6pm - Get sick.
7pm - Try to eat dinner.
7:30pm - Get sick.
8:30pm - Get sick.
9:30pm - Get sick.
10:30pm - Get sick.
11:30pm - Get sick.
ADD A TRIP TO EMERGENCY ROOM ONCE A WEEK ON THURSDAY & FRIDAY FOR I.V. FLUIDS AND MEDS.

Saturday & Sunday
I'm lucky if I get out of the house. And I've missed church, which for those that know me know that I hate missing a Sunday.

This past Tuesday I had a follow-up appointment and my OB sent me immediately over to Fairfax Hospital where I was admitted right away for "Severe Dehydration/Malnutrition due to Hyperemesis". I spent Tuesday and Wednesday there where they had me on IV fluids/meds nonstop. I begged to come home so they let me leave Wednesday evening. They placed a PICC line in (goes through my arm up through my chest and down to my heart). It hurts but I'm dealing. So this is what my life consists of right now... daily IV fluids/meds given nightly through the PICC line. Mac spent three hours with the Home Health Care Aide yesterday learning how to administer the fluids/meds. It looks like this will be my life for a couple more months, or until this Hyperemesis decides to go away. After doing a ton of research it appears that it normally subsides between the 12th-20th week, or is it possible (10-20%) for it to last until the day of delivery, or it can even last months after delivery.

Hyperemesis a rare condition but it is serious. I decided to include a few testimonials from real women who have gone through this. My emotional state is very close to how these women felt. I hope after reading these it will help people understand more of what I'm going through, especially for those that keep telling me "its just morning sickness and we've all gone through it."

"I am terrified. and praying every night that this won't happen to me again."

"You are screaming inside 'HELP ME' as the doctor is explaining this will all pass in X number of weeks. I feel like I'm dying a slow death."

"Everyone told me I would forget all about [HG] the minute they put her in my arms, but they were wrong. It is. forever in my head. was it all worth it? I am torn. Nothing can compare to the love you have with your child. but to say it was all worth it is something I don't feel completely comfortable saying." Angie N., West Orange NJ

"I entered this pregnancy believing that pregnancy was a healthy and natural life change and not an illness. I couldn't go to work. my husband had to help to bathe me because I was so weak. since I lost over 30 pounds. my father [came daily] to care for me and. take me to my appointments. my sisters shopped for food." Juliette P., Warminster, PA

"I ended up losing my job and my life for nine months. was told it was in my head. little treatment was offered... at 6 weeks pregnant. all i wanted was the pain and sickness to stop and was told I would have to. terminate. I have grieved every day for that loss. with awareness. and proper [information] maybe people. [with HG] can be taken seriously and given proper care. doctors can do operations that you'd never think. possible, yet they cant stop [HG]. its heartbreaking, and soul destroying." K.N., Lancashire, England

"My plea to the world of non-HGers: quit suggesting crackers! IT is really frustrating that there is such lack of awareness that even some health care providers will recommend things (like crackers) that may help for regular morning sickness, but are like suggesting a band aid to someone with a broken arm. I lost 10% of my body weight in about 6 weeks, have had so many IVs for dehydration that I can't even count. The suggestion of crackers is insulting." EG , Seattle, WA

"My best friend (24 years old) died from what I believe was HG. She died over a year ago and her condition went 7 months undiagnosed before she died. Serpil

"I went through several different emotions... I hated myself, the pregnancy, my life. I had panic/anxiety attacks because I felt so trapped in my own body. I felt like I was going to lose my mind." Danielle O., Knoxville, TN

"I would sleep on the floor of the bathroom most nights. My husband didn't understand what was happening at all and got very irritated with me. I would just cry all by myself and other times I was too sick to even react to anything at all. I have never felt so alone in my entire life." M

And this one sums it up...

"[She] has been bedridden in darkness - with no TV, no ability to read, barely able to talk, for the last 7 weeks. A steady and heartbreaking moan can be heard coming from her room. she hangs on, because she knows if she terminates, she will never have the courage/strength to try again." Gail, NJ

8 Weeks - And the sickness continues...

Sorry I haven't posted in a while but I have had a rough few weeks. The last I posted was regarding the FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). Well, I have good news... it worked! We are pregnant... with TWINS! Yes, that's right, both of our frozen gems implanted. They are fraternal and so far we have had 99% of our friends and family refer to them as a boy and a girl.

The worst part of this blessing is that I have been very sick. I have what the doctors refer to as "Hyperemesis". The definition is "a severe form of morning sickness, with "unrelenting, excessive pregnancy-related nausea and/or vomiting that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids." Hyperemesis is considered a rare complication of pregnancy." When they say severe they mean it. I've only had one trip to the ER for IV fluids. I'm hoping that's the one and only trip to the ER. They gave me Zofran and Phenegren for the nausea and vomiting. In the first week of finding out I was pregnant I lost 7lbs from not eating, drinking and vomiting. I pray that none of you ever experience this. It's worse then the worst flu or virus. The doctors say it will either subside by 14 weeks or could last the whole nine months. I'm praying for the former.

Now a few weeks later, I am feeling a little better. I can only function with the help of the meds. If I don't have them I literally would be laid up in the bed 24/7 miserable. I have been working half the week at home and the other half in the office. Its hard but parts of my job do require a visit or two to the office. The rest I can do remotely. I'm happy that I have an understanding boss. Of course I'm home today because we had a very hard night. Yesterday we attending Mac's great-nephew's funeral. Skylar was only seven, so of course my emotions got the better of me. Then it was off to work, which ended up being a busy day. Once I was home I was able to relax. Mac took his mom to the ER around 9:30pm and didn't get home until 4:30am. Then the hospital was calling at 5:30pm and Mac left for work at 6:30pm. I was up by 8:30am, took a shower and got very sick... a few times. I knew there was no way I could go to work. Mac was home by 9:30am because his boss sent him home. His mom is still in the hospital and Mac has been home sleeping since 10:30am. Tonight should be quiet. Mac's going to the Nats game with Sam and I'll go to bed early. Yay!

Since most of my followers are not on FB, I've attached the last two ultrasounds we've had taken. Because I'm high risk I will have a lot of ultrasounds. I will have more next week.

Enjoy!

Baby A & B - 7 Weeks



Baby A & B - 8 Weeks

Week 8 - FET Journey #1... Practicing Patience!

Today is a all about patience. I'm trying to practice great strength in patience as we wait these long couple weeks to find out if it's in God's plan for us to have a baby. Two of my daily devotionals were all about patience. I've listed below the verses that were in the devotionals. I believe God put these there this morning to get my attention.

“Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain.” James 5:7

“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.” Psalm 40:1

“Tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character.” Romans 5:3b-4a

“As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.” James 5:11

“And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.” Hebrews 6:15

“I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.” Psalm 62:5 NLT

“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” Psalm 37:7 NLT

“I wait expectantly, trusting God to help, for he has promised.” Psalm 105:5 LB

Stay tuned...

Week 7 - FET Journey #1... Feelin' Fine!!!

So we're closing out week 7 just laying around. I took all last week off to rest my body and mind. Very relaxing! We have good news to share (no don't get that excited), the embryos made it through the thaw beautifully. We went in Monday at 11:30am and at 12:20pm we watched as our two embryos were transferred. We watched on the ultrasound screen as two of the smallest needle pin head sized gems were delicately placed into my uterus. As we were lying still they came in and handed us the picture of our two little gems. Here is a sneak peek of what hopefully has or will be implanting safe and sound into place for the next nine months. The two masses in the center of each, that resemble clumps, are called the ICM (Inner Cell Mass) or cells that develop into a fetus. I will update more as soon as we know something. We won't know for another couple of weeks if it worked, so if you don't hear from me it's because we don't know anything. We thank all of you who prayed for that they make it through the thaw process. This is proof that God does hear our prayers. We're asking for prayers that our gems are snuggled in safe and sound. Stay tuned...

Week 7 - FET #1 Journey... Thawing the Frozen Gems!

Well tomorrow is the big day. We are set for a noon transfer in Rockville. I pray that our two frozen gems make it through the thaw process. The process takes about an hour for them to thaw. Then about an hour for the whole FET procedure to complete. I have decided to take the week off of work. I decided to rest my body for a week instead of a couple days. Not sure if that will help but it sounds like a good idea.

I will post tomorrow if anything good or exciting happens! Please pray for us!

Stay tuned...

Week 5 - FET #1 Journey... Pain in the Rear!

Not much to report. We went in for our pre-FET appointment and all looks good. I started the new injections on Saturday. To prepare myself we went out for a nice dinner at Ozzie's in Fairfax. If you haven't been I highly recommend it. It's a part of the Great American Restaurants chain, which includes Mike's, Silverados, Sweet Water, etc. Anyway, it's gooooood! The shot wasn't as bad as I anticipated, but I did ice for a minute beforehand. Mac is getting so good at this. It's almost scary. I have three more injections before my u/s and b/w appointment on the 16th of March.

I'm not sure what I'm feeling at the moment. I'm not nervous or anxious as before. I'm just empty. Maybe that will change as we get closer to the transfer date. Not sure. Maybe I have too much on my mind. That could be it.

Sorry for the drab post but I'm just not feeling all that happy-go-lucky today.

Stay tuned...

Week 3 - FET #1 Journey... Just Around the Bend!

It's been a few weeks since my last post and a lot has been going on. It might not seem like a lot after you read this, but trust me... I have a lot going on.

I started the nasty dreaded BCP's and have gained about 7lbs in three weeks and don't even ask me how many inches. I wouldn't tell you even if I knew, but lets just put it this way... my thighs are having major issues. My outer thigh seem to want to run away from one another and when I walk it's apparent that they don't want to be friends because one swings to the left and the other swings to the right. My inner thighs are at battle with one another on a daily basis and rubbing each other the wrong way. By the end of the day neither one of them or me is very happy. I refuse to resort to baby power at this point because I'm hoping it's just these stupid pills that are causing this. I have one more week of yellow pills then come on mother nature... show me what you've got. Okay not literally, but bring it on. I'm ready to move forward. As soon as she rears her ugly head we'll start the next round of injections. If I didn't mention it already, I take fewer injections this time, but they are all IM (inter-muscular). Do you remember what that means from our first IVF lesson? If you've been keeping up with my blog you know that it means the injections are given to me in my backside. Uh huh... I'm sure I got a few "eews" and "ows" from some of you. Well it's true, these two shots that I will get once every three days, two and three times a day are rough. They are both oil based, so you can imagine something very thick trying to work it's way through a small needle hole into my big rear end. Yeah, its gonna take a while per injection, so less shots, more pain. Yay!!!!!

Oh did I mention the FET is already set for March 21st? Oh sorry, yes, I was complaining and seeking sympathy for a brief moment. The day is set. I'm nervous, anxious and excited all at the same time. These emotions battle one another daily... much like my inner thighs.

These past few weeks have been crazy. Mostly everything that has taken place has been God driven. He has been speaking to me loud and clear. I started a new bible study, "Jonah - Navigating a Life Interrupted", attended a "Art of Marriage" Conference with Mac, and have started going to my women's small group again after a little hiatus due to work conflicts, personal conflicts and health reasons. Let me tell you, it feels good to be back again and to be able to hear God speaking to me. At times my life seems so interrupted that I block out the ability to be able to hear him. I'm telling you, a lot is going on in me right now and it feels good. There are several words I could use to describe it... loved, joy, happiness, PEACE.

I've had the privilege of God interrupting (intervening) in my life lately. I can't tell you how just yet because right now it's pretty personal between him and I. I've told a few wise counsel, but for the moment Gods telling me to lay low with this. See he knows my feelings on it and he's wanting me to wait until he's ready... plus I think he knows that I'm not quite where he wants me to be. But wow, let me tell you, he's stirring some things up inside of me and it feels GOOD!

You know, there is one resounding question I have gotten over the past few years since starting this blog... "With all you've been through, how can you still believe there is a God that loves you?"

WOW... thanks for asking me that... in a nutshell let me lay it out for you... I'M STILL HERE!!!!

That's right, I'm still here! He loved me enough to save me on that icy night three years ago (February 12, 2008). When that car hit me head on at 65+ mph and my car was smashed up to 12" from my face and I walked away without nothing more then some neck and back issues... you're dang right I believe there is a God that loves me. Yes, I have had my fair share of aches, pains, hurts and heartaches, but listen, I'M STILL HERE!!! I know in my heart that he wouldn't let me go through all of this stuff I've been through the past three years for nothing. My God has bigger plans for me. My God has some awesome stuff waiting for me. I may never know what they are on this side of Heaven but believe me I am fine with that. I trust him and I thank him daily!!!!

I will fill you all in later on this bible study because it's pretty darn good. For now though, I'm going to partake in some guilty pleasure TV. See... I'm far from perfect... but I'm human... I'm a work in progress.

Goodnight and stay tuned!

Week 1 - FET #1 Journey... A Super Sunday!

Today is Super Bowl Sunday! I'm not too excited since my beloved Skins are not in it, but I'm enjoying relaxing and watching football on this beautiful Sunday with my husband and the pups. Today is not only super because of the Super Bowl, but because it's day one of my cycle. This means we get to start our next round of treatments.

I haven't posted in a while so I'll refresh your memory. I have to do 21 days of BCP's (birth control pills), wait to get my next cycle, then start the first round of shots for the FET (Frozen Embyro Transfer). It's just as complicated as the fresh transfers. Once I start the next cycle we'll set a date for the transfer instead of guessing as in past cycles. The only thing I hate is that it's much longer then the fresh cycles. To complicate matters, the embryos have to make it through the thaw stage.

Be sure and check back because I'll be updating more frequently now that we're back in business.

Go PACKERS!!!!