What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive…

What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive…

•That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.
•That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.
•That you would see your OBGYN/RE more often than your DH at O time.
•That the longer you TTC (Trying To Conceive), the more PG (Pregnant) women spring up around you.
•That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.
•That one day you wouldn't mind checking your CM (Cervical Mucus) or CP (Cervical Position) to see if it is your fertile period.
•That I should have gone to medical school like my mom wanted, because I've had to do so much medical research by now just to figure out what was wrong with me, I might as well be an M.D.
•That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.
•That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm
•That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month
•That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant.
•That you have no control over some of the goals you set.
•That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn't make it change!
•That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.
•That miscarriage is so common.
•That I would wish we had started TTC earlier.
•That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.
•That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!
•That it would help bring a group of wonderful, caring, funny, empathetic women together like this.
•That I would EVER be willing to stick a little blue pill up my hoo-haa (estrace pill...done vaginally),
•That I'd EVER be willing to stab myself in the stomach or hip every day in the hopes that it will help get me PG.
•That it wouldn't happen the first time you didn't use birth control like we were led to believe in school.
•That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.
•That family would act like getting pregnant was a competition between all the young couples in the family, and the first one to get pg "wins".
•That my DH is the most wonderful and caring man!
•That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!
•That women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!
•That I could have been rich saving money on condoms, which were obviously unnecessary.
•That I would be happy to see abundant cervical fluid and tell my DH (Darling Husband) about it.
•That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.
•That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.
•That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my bungalow in Hawaii by now.
•That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid.
•That having AF show up makes you cry, no matter who's bathroom you are in.
•That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.
•Feeling like you wish your life away in 2 week increments.
•That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.
•That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to TTC.
•That talking about sex with fellow TTCers would be so easy.
•That infertility is more common than you think.
•That DH would get used to doing his 'thing' in a cup.
•That one day all of this will make us stronger.
•That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).
•That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.
•That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.
•That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people's pregnancies and I would fight back the tears upon hearing their news.
•That it could hurt so much to lose your innocence.
•That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pregnancies, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pregnancies.
•That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.
•That I'd discover who my true friends are, both in real life and online.
•That I'd pray for something to be wrong with me just so I could have an answer to what's wrong with me.
•That I would know about other peoples' BD (Baby Dancing), CP, CM but not know their real name, their DH's name, or their occupation.
•That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).
•That I would have to rely on doctors to give me the final say-so on what I can or can't do (on a med/procedure break forced by my RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) against my wishes)
•That foreplay would consist of DH asking "How's your cervix today?"
•That an HSG will tell you more than just whether or not your tubes are blocked. I had no idea your uterus could be misshaped.
•That one person could be "cursed" with so many different fertility problems.
•That I should have become a gyno - which I think at this point I know more then some.
•That some people just say the wrong things.
•That a simple blood test costs $648!
•That sex would ever become a chore.
•That actually having a miscarriage would allow me to understand the loss that others have felt.
•That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel..."
•That DH would be overly concerned that our BD positions were the most effective ones!
•That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have (DH, family, friends, dogs, fun, etc)!
•That I would become addicted to POAS and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to POAS in the morning!
•That I would be so sad, and ashamed.
•That I would learn to speak in code – like: I checked CM which was EWCM but when I will POAS who knows, DH won't let me for fear of BFN. Which really reads: I checked "Cervical Mucus" which was "Eggwhite Cervical Mucus" but when I will "Pee On A Stick" who knows, "Darling Husband" won't let me for fear of "Big Fat No".
•That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.
•That you HAVE to have sex even though you don't feel like it, because your FM says high or peak.
•That people would pity you and feel sorry for you.
•That I would dream about taking my temperature and be disappointed if I woke up at 3am and it wasn't time yet.
•That I would stop fantasizing about having a baby because it stopped making me happy.
•That I would buy herbs and otc creams like vitex and progest, use them for two days, and then chicken out.
•That I would hear well-meaning questions like: "Have you thought of taking your temperature?" (and this is after 20 months of TTC...)
•That my brother, who started TTC at the same time we did and whose wife got PG three months later, would go on and on telling me how tough and tiring life with a baby is, and then finish with: "You have no idea what it's like!"
•That the two little words of "just relax" uttered by everyone I know would infuriate me beyond belief.
•That someone would suggest adoption to me in order to get pregnant (because it happened to a friend of theirs) before I had even had any testing done.
•That we would have to schedule a BD session so DH could do it in a cup a few days later.
•That I would have to help DH do it in a cup.
•That my friends who started TTC #1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with #2 or #3 before we get pregnant with #1.
•That I wouldn't be able to attend my friend's babies 1st birthday parties because of the question, "So, when are ya'll going to have children?"
•That the people around me would become more insensitive as time goes on. "It is so hard having a new baby, you just wouldn't understand." or "Be happy you're not tied down."
•That I would watch a Baby Story every day... only to cry every day.
•That it puts this much strain on a marriage.
•That I spent years trying not to get pregnant, and praying for my period. Now I can't seem to lose the witch!
•It's good to know I am not alone.
•That I would have to listen to people complain about their children as if they were burdens while a child is the one thing in the world I want the most. Also, they sound as if they are trying to talk me out of having kids, like it is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.
•That I would yell at commercials on the TV (that "having a baby changes everything" one really gets to me. I can't watch it without snapping "So does not having one.")
•That I would have to stop watching Birth Day and A Baby Story (two shows I love) because it just hurts too much.
•That a friend would hide and ignore her own pregnancy to try to keep me from being upset.
•That your body has its own mind.
•That you would be keeping it a secret from everyone.
•That you would tell everyone you're not ready for a child when they ask what you’re waiting for.
•That the broken heart you feel each month is equal to the pain you feel when you lose a loved one.
•That you feel useless as a female and wife.
•That you will soon be lying through your teeth telling people that you don't want children.
•That you feel that your body has betrayed you by not delivering a regular cycle, the right amount of the required "hormones" or doing what it should know how to do.
•That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".
•That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.
•That my faith in God would be tested heavily.

Welcome to my life!