Weeeee're Back!

Dear Followers and Non-Followers:

I have to deeply apologize for being disconnected for so long.  Life (personal/work) has consumed so much of my time I have failed to keep up with our family blog.  I haven't failed to update my status on Facebook, so most of you may already know what has happened since my last blog post.  For those that don't Facebook, I'm going to give a cliff notes version of our life over the 10 months.

My last blog post was when the girls were 17.5 months... WHAT????  Really????  Look at these two at 17 months. Ahh, so precious... so little... so innocent!

Okay, fast forward to present day.  The girls are now 28 months.

I still can't believe my little babies are already 2 years old.  I'm so happy for them but so sad for me.  I want to inject a stop growth hormone into them right now.  They are so full of life, spunk, attitude, love, and innocence.  These two are so completely opposite in every sense of the word.  Gracie is so funny, so intelligent, so loving and so playful.  Hailie is so previous, so smart, so loving and so joyful.  It's so neat to see bits and pieces of me and Mac show up in them (some times not so neat).

Hope you can keep up with this quick run through of how the past 10 months have been for our family.

August 2013 - OC or Bust!!!  Great family beach trip to Ocean City.  The girls had a fantastic time, as did we.

October 2013 - Halloween was great fun this year.  The weather was nice... not too cold, but because the girls were still only one, we decided to let them hand out candy and take them around to our neighbors homes, instead of trick-or-treating.  The girls were Elmo and Sock Monkeys this year.  The best part of Halloween night was dancing in the rain at 8pm.  We broke all the rules (well, except for the no candy rule), and I'm so so glad we did!  What a night to remember!

November 2013 - We're Two!!!  The girls had an Elmo Themed 2nd Birthday Party, which was a lot of fun! The day was filled with family, love and a lot of gifts.  The day could not have been any more perfect. 

Thanksgiving/Happy Birthday Reesie Peesie!  What a great day!  We hosted at our house and as crazy as it is with prepping for the day, it of course ended perfect.  The girls had an awesome time with their family and we were so honored we got to celebrate Reese's 10th birthday on the same day.  We have a lot to be thankful for!

December 2013 - The Holidays and the Elf!  Wow, what a FUN Christmas.  Can I say that again people... what a FUN Christmas!  The girls were at such a joyful age.  We started the Elf on the Shelf tradition and I'm not sure who had more fun, the girls or Mac and I.  We had to work together to find new places.  And while most all of our hiding places were thought of on our own, next year I think I may turn to Pinterest to help me out.  We all went to Christmas Eve service at church, on Christmas Eve.  It really was just the best holiday ever!!!

January 2014 - The Great Flood!  Yes, I called it great.  One January 7th, the coldest day in 20 years, (6 degrees) some time between 11am-7pm, a pipe in our attic split (18").  The insurance company estimates the water sprayed, gushed and drained for roughly six hours.  Living in a one level rambler on a concrete slab was not a saving grace for us.  It actually made it worse.  The water rose and stood at 8" throughout the whole house.  Without adding too much detail, for sake of time only and because I'll post about it separately on my personal parenting page, the water collapsed our ceiling in the kitchen and girls newly renovated playroom.  The damage is estimated around $35K so far.  It could be more, but I haven't been able to bring myself to look at the updated estimate.  We stayed a couple of weeks with my mother and step dad (thank you for your hospitality and generosity mom and Sam), and then moved into a hotel.  We're still there after all this time.  The hotel has been great and the staff are wonderful.  The girls, including Zelda, have a new fan club.  Almost every morning the girls give each of the housekeepers they see a big hug.  I can't imagine that doesn't warm their hearts and sets them up for a great day!  I think I also made a new friend myself with the head of housekeeping.  She's such a wonderful person and I have enjoyed our talks.  Especially during this rather stressed out, hectic time in our lives.  I do believe we'll remain friends long after we move back into our house.  

We're hoping to be fully moved back into our house by March 28th.  This will start a new chapter for us where we make our house... our home!!!

So there you have it... ten months in review!  I am hoping to keep up with the girls blog more regularly, but forgive me if I don't.  You know how life gets.  Also be on the lookout for my new blog that's all about my life as a a full time working married mother.  I realized just the other day that I am human.  What?  Yes it took me this long to realize I was human.  I still feel like a robot 90% of the day, but the other 10% I feel human... one with real emotions, real problems, real stresses... so I'm going to open up more about my life and give you a look into the raw version of me.  I look forward to sharing this next chapter of my life with all of you.

Let's pray together:  "Thank you God for keeping us safe and for loving us through all our faults and failures.  You're love is never-ending and never-failing.  Please guide me as and shape me to be more like you.  I love you.  Thank you for loving and listening.  Amen!"

It was nice catching up and stay tuned...

17.5 Months... We Have Reached the Year and a Half Milestone!

I know I say this all the time, but seriously... where has the time gone?  I feel like life is literally passing me by.  I blink and my girls have grown another inch, gained another pound, learned another word, and felt a new emotion.

It occurred to me the other night that all this growing has me feeling like I'm missing something.  I have been struggling to figure out what that "something" is for some time now and then it hit me like an arrow in the heart  while reading a bedtime story to Gracie.  As I was finishing up her new book, "Snuggle Bunnies", she spit her ba ba out, wiped off the little bit of milk that had leaked out onto her little chin and said, "Night night mommy, night night!", and nuzzled her little body deep into mine.

It was at that very moment when I knew that the "something" I was missing was called life.  I was missing LIFE!  I'm always so busy trying to keep it all together.  Trying to keep the girls on a consistent routine, good sleep schedule, rushed feeding times, all the while trying to be a good wife (which I've been failing miserably), working full time, and a taking care of a dog who has now started to act like a toddler.  Seriously, her idea of coloring with the girls is eating the crayons.

Gracie, in that tiny little moment, taught me to release!  I'm not saying that I'm 100% better now, but I have released some.  I am enjoying my girls, but I want my girls to enjoy me.  Does that make sense?  I want to see myself as the girls see me.  It was in that tiny moment that I learned that I don't care what I look like.  Okay, maybe just a little.  But I will never project that onto my girls.  I don't ever want them to go through what I did as a child/adolescent and teenager... the name calling, the bullying, being a loaner.  All those things shaped into the person I am today, but I want different for my girls.  We all do right?

I love that I'm the adult, but my girls are teaching me more about life in their short 17 months then I've learned in all my 38 years.  God seriously knew what he was doing when he created these two little cupcakes.  He made them just for me!  He made them to save me!  Not the other way around.

"Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise."  Jeremiah 17:14 (AMP)

Walk with Me... A Day in the Life of Me!

I know most people I encounter must think I'm absent-minded, scatter brained, and just downright clueless.  I always begin telling them what my night or morning was like but that just can't happen in a five minute, "I really don't care how you're doing, I just wanted to say hi", conversation.  If you could see the look on some of their faces when I start talking.  It's as if they shriek out of fear that I'm going to keep going on and on about my life.  I feel so bad for them, and usually will either just stop the conversation or change the subject.  The only ones who listen and really respond are those that get it or really feel sorry for me.  If you are one of these people I have mentioned above, trust me, I don't take offense to your looks of, "This old woman is so weird.  OMG, how can I get away without being rude.  OMG she's so weird."  Look, I'm a 38 year old mother of twin girls, who doesn't get out at all, so sorry if I just completely unleashed on you.  Maybe I'm teaching you a valuable lesson to take your birth control.  Hmm?  Just kidding, I believe children are God's greatest creations and gifts when you and God are ready for them.

I thought it would be fun to run down what a typical day is like in my life... go with it!

4:30am - Gracie standing in her "pack-n-play" (currently still in our room) crying.  I get up, put paci in, lay her on her side, cover her up.  Get back in bed, cover my head with blanket, and try as hard as possible to not make the sheets make noise.  Yes, if you didn't know, sheets make noise.  And yes, it wakes Gracie up.

5:00am - Gracie standing in her "pack-n-play" crying.  I get up, Gracie says "Hi mommy".  I say, "Hi Gracie.  It's night night time.  Go back to bed.", put paci back in, lay her on her side, cover her up.  Get back in bed, cover my head with blanket, and try as hard as possible to not make the sheets make as much noise as before.

5:45am - Gracie standing in her "pack-n-play" crying.  Tell Gracie its 5:45am and to go back to bed until 6am.  Please keep in mind that she's 17 months.   That doesn't work.  Get up, Gracie says "Hi mommy.", put paci back in, lay her on her side, cover her up and turn on her "Cloud b" pink lady bug.  Get back in bed, cover head with blanket.  At this point I'm just not moving.  Lay as still as possible and even try not to breathe.

5:46am - Gracie standing in her "pack-n-play" crying.  Tell Gracie it's 5:46am and the lights will go on at 6am exactly.  More crying ensues.  Place pillow over my head.

5:48am - Gracie standing in her "pack-n-play" crying.  At this point fear that she'll wake Hailie sets in.  Get up, Gracie says "Hi mommy!", put paci back in, take Gracie in the bed with me.  Gracie starts saying hi to everything... the wall, the clock, the TV, the book.  She calls for Zelda.  Calls for daddy.  Calls for sissy.  She tickles me.  Tickles herself.  Tickles Riley (stuffed puppy).  This continues for the next 12 minutes.

6:00am - Get up.  Let Gracie turn on the lights.  Go out to the living room.  Wait for Mac to get up off the couch and go make the ba ba.  Turn on Barney.

6:15am - Still waiting for Mac to get up and go make the ba ba.

6:30am - Finally, Gracie has her ba ba and is watching the Sprout channel while I hop in the shower.  Hailie wakes up from the sound of the shower (I need insulated walls).

6:35am - Mac gives Gracie a breathing treatment (30 mins).

6:45am - Hop out of the shower and steam my work clothes.

7:10am - Mac feeds the girls their yogurt with Singulair and daily vitamin mixed in.

7:15am - Mac brings girls into my room so he can leave for work (he's already 15 mins late for work).  Girls play with everything from dirty socks, Zelda's bone, diapers (new), and make a game out of sitting in Zelda's cage.  Yes, I said they play in Zelda's cage.  It's big enough for them to stand up in, so I imagine it's like a mini house... or jail.

7:30am - Dressed and hair is in a ponytail.  I've been sporting one for nearly two years.  Chase the girls around the house trying to change their diapers.  Finally, get one.  Finally get the other.  Girls, done.

7:35am - Let Zelda out for one last potty break.  Search house for pacis, Riley, blankey, pap pap (Hailie's Wubanub).  Give them to the girls.

7:40am - Warm up car.

7:41am - Let Zelda in and put her away with treats.  Turn on Animal Planet.

7:42am - Search house for pacis, Riley, blankey, pap pap.

7:50am - In the car... finally!

7:51am - Proceed to sing the most awesome toddler tunes... "Baby Bumblebee", "One Finger One Thumb", "Loobylou", all while trying to act out the songs and drive too.  It really isn't the same when you're doing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" with one hand.  I mean really?  No wonder the girls are looking at me like I'm stupid.

7:55am - And so it begins... Hailie throws her pap paps on the floor.  Gracie throws puppy on the floor.  "Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap" and "Puppy Puppy Riiee Riiee Puppy Puppy Riiee Riiee" is what I hear until I can safely retrieve the items.  "Girls, please don't throw them on the floor again."

7:57am - Hailie throws her pap paps on the floor.  Gracie throws puppy on the floor.  "Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap" and "Puppy Puppy Riiee Riiee Puppy Puppy Riiee Riiee."  "Girls, please don't throw them on the floor again.  You do it again and they stay there."

8:00am - Hailie throws her pap paps on the floor.  Gracie throws puppy on the floor.  "Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap" and "Puppy Puppy Riiee Riiee Puppy Puppy Riiee Riiee."

8:05am - "Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap Pap" and "Puppy Puppy Riiee Riiee Puppy Puppy Riiee Riiee."

8:06am - Mommy sings, "Jesus loves me this I know.  For the bible tells me so.  Yes Jesus loves me.  The bible tells me so." for the next five minutes.

8:25am - Finally arrive at daycare.  Drop girls off.  Go in and talk to provider about how the girls are doing, etc.

8:45am - Hop in car (that was still running) and head to the gas station for a Red Bull.

8:46am - On my way up Rt 1 North all the way to DC.  Mind constantly going... what's for dinner, hope the girls have a good day, should I work out at lunch, hope the girls have a good day, dang it I forgot to spray the shower liner for mildew, hope the girls have a good day, really need to finish that report at work, hope the girls have a good day, need to make Zelda's vet appt, hope the girls have a good day, is Mac working this weekend, hope the girls have a good day, need to get soap, hope the girls have a good day... pretty much goes on all the way to work.

9:30am - Finally arrive at work.

5:30pm - Leave work.

6:15pm - Arrive home to little ones waiting in the window yelling "Mommy Mommy" (Gracie) and "Mammy Mammy" (Hailie).  Aww, heart swells and then melts.  Mac starts Gracie's breathing treatment.

6:16pm - Walk inside to the tornado that just struck my house.  Give the girls big hugs, even if they don't want them.

6:20pm - Change into comfy clothes, even while having a little one wrapped around my leg.  Quite impressive I know.

6:21pm - Start dinner for the girls.  What's on the menu you ask?  Most nights its spaghetti (or "noonles" as Gracie likes to call it.), steamed mixed veggies and a slice of whole wheat bread.    Other nights it's pizza or chicken nuggets, steamed mixed veggies.  Also depends on what daycare fed them for lunch.  Don't want to overlap.  They just don't have a very broad palate right now so it's a lot of the same things every night.  They get their fruit in at daycare, with the exception of cherries.  They get a couple of those after dinner for desert because I read they have melatonin and it's suppose to help them sleep.  So far so good.  We've had no one wake up during the middle of the night.  Oh crap, I probably just jinxed myself.

6:30pm - Sit and talk to the girls while their eating.  Trying to fake that I'm not starving as they offer me bites of their dinner.  They have no idea I'm ready to pounce on their pizza.  Mac gets bath ready.

6:40pm - Wrangle girls together to get them in the bath, while Mac makes bottles.  Try and keep Gracie from drowning Hailie, as well as keep her from biting Hailie in the butt.  Hailie won't sit in the tub so we have to keep Gracie at bay.  As amusing as it is, safety is more important.

6:55pm - Let the girls brush their teeth while I get their PJ's on and smelly so good.  Brush their hair.  Turn on sound machine in Hailie's room.  Turn on humidifier and sound machine in Gracie's room.

7:15pm - Depending on which girl I have that night, read book while she drinks ba ba.  Once finished it's in the crib she goes.  Give kisses, wish her sweet dreams and tell her I love her more than she'll ever know.

7:17pm - Lights out.

7:45pm - Watch on both monitors as each of them talk, sing, and unwind.

8:00pm - Put girls dirty clothes into washer.

8:10pm - Wash nipples for the next day.  Unload and reload dishwasher.

8:30pm - Sit down and squabble with Mac about what's for dinner.

9:00pm - Someones crying.  Let it go for a couple minutes.  If it doesn't go quiet, then go in and see what's wrong.  Get girl back to sleep.

9:30pm - Sit down and squabble with Mac about what's for dinner.

9:45pm - Dinner.

10:00pm - Check DVR and turn on something good.

10:15pm - Fall asleep while watching TV.

And there you have it people.  My life in a list.  Obviously I have left out all the little things that matter, like the fun we have at bath time, but that's for another day.  This is just a brief overview of a typical day for me and guess what?  I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING ABOUT IT!!!!!

I love my girls and would do this 1000 times over just to be with them!

Where Has a Year Gone?

On Sunday my beautiful niece Reese and my brother-in-law Kevin stopped by to see the girls.  They ended up staying all day and I don't know who had more fun... Mac & I, Kevin & Reese, or the girls.  I think we all enjoyed our time together.  Even though we live 3.9 miles from each other, life gets in the way so we don't see each other that often.  So Sunday was a pleasant treat!  Kevin gave me a DVD he made for the girls 1st birthday.  He apologized for being late but again, life gets in the way.  Mac was eager to watch it and quickly cut the girls movie off, "Elmo's Music Magic".  Don't go buy it... it's one of those DVD's where every song gets stuck in your head.  Just yesterday I was cleaning up the boardroom at work and caught myself singing, "Sing a Song" out loud.  Apparently I had been doing it all day.  Mommy brain I know!!!

Here is the movie he made.  Trust me when I tell you that it took everything I had not to bust out weeping.  I managed to hold most of the tears in but there were a few evident.  I made an excuse to hop in the shower and that is where I let them roll.  And the reason for the tears are many... missing the "newness" of the girls, missing the "smallness", missing the "needingness", but also happy for all that they accomplished and overcome, happy about fun memories we are currently making, and just an overwhelming feeling of being beyond blessed with these two miracles. 

I was thinking about what I would be doing right at that particular moment if God hadn't chosen that to be our time to have the girls, and I felt so empty.  My heart literally broke at that moment.  The past year has been filled with all types of moments... happy, sad, glad, mad, crazy, trying, troubled, challenged, fearful, cheerful, grateful but most of all blessed moments.  When I look into the eyes of my precious girls I get a feeling that is indescribable.  It's one you'll never know because it's unique to us and God.  If you know our back story on these girls, you'll understand why.

Though, I think my brother-in-law did an amazing job at capturing a little bit of that unique feeling.  I hope you enjoy watching and if you shed a tear or two, that's okay.  Just click on the link below.

The Girls 1st Year!

Thank You, God, for Daddy

As a follow up to my last post, I figured I would share my thoughts as they scrambled around in my head as I was reading to Gracie last night.

"Thank You, God, for Daddy" by Amy Parker

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
The best hero around!
I know I can depend on him-
He never lets me down!

You're right cupcakes... you can always depend on your daddy. He has always jumped when ever we've needed him to. Regardless of what he has going on that day, he has never let us down. He's not only your hero, he's mommies too!

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He leads me as I grow-
He wants me to be kind and good;
He teaches all he knows.

Daddy has always been a kind person. He shows respect for others and I'm confident you will do the same. Right now he's trying to teach you patience. Oh my little Gracie Poo, you're giving him a run for his money. Haha.

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He works hard every day
And takes care of our family
In oh so many ways!

Daddy definitely has works hard at his job every day. And he takes care of all of us in his own ways. Not always the way mommy wants but his good out ways his bad.

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He is my biggest fan-
He cheers me on to do my best;
He shows me that I can!

Girls, you have no idea how much of a fan your daddy is. You make him smile every day. He marvels at how smart and how physically strong you two are. He often jokes, "They must get all that from their daddy!". It's quite cute!

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He rebuilds broken things.
He works until he gets it right.
He can fix anything!

I will reserve comment.

Thank You, God, for Daddy-
He always does his part.
When Daddy sees someone in need,
He gives straight from the heart.

Your daddy's heart is enormous!!!! He is a giver without question. Daddy always lends a helping hand to those in need. Hailie Boo, I see a lot of your daddy in you... always helping mommy clean the house. I love to see you following close behind me with the big person's broom. Thank you baby!

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
I know he trusts in you.
I know he asks you questions, and
I know you answer too.

Your daddy has a private relationship with God, but I know he believes in Him and knows that you two are proof that He really does exist.

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He scares monsters away.
When Daddy says, "Don't be afraid."
I know that it's okay.

Right now you are too young to say whether you see monsters, but I know he'll be right there to scare them away when you need him too.

Thank You, God, for Daddy.
He hugs me big and tight.
All I need is a Daddy squeeze,
And everything's all right!

It warms my heart when I see your daddy hug you so tightly. Whether you're playing, or whether you've bumped your head, he scopes you up, gives you a big squeeze and a ton of kisses until you've forgotten what happened.

Thank You, God, for Daddy
And all that daddies do.
It shows me that he loves me, and...
Daddy, I love you too!

Oh my little princesses, daddy loves you more than you'll ever know. He tells you every day how pretty you are and just how much you mean to him. You have yourself a great daddy. We are all blessed to have him be ALL ours!!!!

Thank You, God, for Mommy

Since I had the girls 14 months ago, my life seems to be all about schedules and routines.  I feel so rushed in this life.  Even though I spent the first five months at home with the girls, I still feel as if I'm chasing time.

One of my favorite routines is story time right before bed.  I work all day so when I get home I have limited quality time to bond with my girls.  But story time is "our" time.  I get to hold them, smell them, talk to them, stare at them.  We don't read the same books every night, but there are a couple regulars we like, and so do they.  As I read to Hailie the other night, the words on the book were jumping out at me and my heart started to get heavy.  I had read this book so many times before, why would this happen to me now?  Below are the words to the book and my thoughts as was reading to my little girl.

"Thank You God, for Mommy" by Amy Parker

Thank You, God, for Mommy.
We're just the perfect pair-
I couldn't find a better Mom
If I searched everywhere!

Oh girls, I do believe we're a perfect pair.  God's sense of humor is the best.  And yes, you could find a better mom.  One who knows what she's doing.  One who knows patience, kindness, and goodness.  One who doesn't lose it at times and say things like, "That's enough!" or "I'm not playing around today.  I'm serious."  Really, who says things like that to their babies?  Your mom does.  So yeah, I think you deserve better than me.  I know you can't fully comprehend this, but I love you more than life itself.

Thank You, God, for Mommy,
Her smile that shines so bright!
Whenever something makes me sad,
She shows me it's all right.

I will always try and show you it's all right.  I will always tell you the truth, even if it hurts a little.   I will always hold you when your sad.  And I will always love you, even when your mad.  Your happiness is so very important to me and your infectious little smiles are what makes me smile.

Thank You, God, for Mommy.
She's oh so patient when
My uh-ohs become big messes;
She helps me try again.

You have had quite a few "uh-ohs" since you started walking but mommy promised to always try and help you and not punish you.  I understand you're curious and anytime there are "uh-ohs" I know they are accidents and can be fixed.  And even if they can't, then oh well.  Nothing is more important in this life than love and lessons.  I don't always feel like I'm patient, especially in the early morning hours when we're all rushing to get out of the door on time.  Mommy is sorry for these moments girls.  If I could be at home with you all the time I would.  So if mommy has a few days where her patience is running thin, I ask that you forgive me and I will try to do better.

Thank You, God, for Mommy.
She cares for big and small.
She doesn't have to say a word-
Her actions say it all.

Mommy hopes that she can instill in you how important it is to care for others.  When someone comes to you in need, you take time out of your busy life to help them.  Whether it be a listening ear or a supportive shoulder, just be there for them.

Thank You, God, for Mommy,
Her gentle, loving touch-
Boo-boo kisses on bandaged knees
Makes it not hurt so much.

Girls, if you're anything like me you're going to get dirty and hurt a lot.  We have fun when we play!!!  But mommy is also very clumsy.  I'm afraid Gracie, you might be just like me.  Every time you bump your little head on the wall, floor or table, I always grab you and try to kill your boo-boo.  You always look at me like I'm crazy and then struggle to get out of my arms.  I promise you though that I will be there to kiss your boo-boo and will continue to be there for you while you heal.

Thank You, God, for Mommy.
She turns frowns upside down
With goofy games, silly faces,
And time to close around.

Of course we're going to clown around.  Don't take life so serious!  I would give anything to never have to see a frown on your angelic faces.  Your mommy is also just plain goofy.  Sometimes I forget I'm an adult.  Do I make you smile?

Thank You, God, for Mommy,
Her arms that hold me near.
When lighting strikes and thunder booms,
She helps to calm my fear.

Oh you have no idea!  Gracie, you have had less than a handful of night terrors, and that possibly was the second most scariest thing I've ever been through.  I did my best to try and calm your fears and it took a while but I was successful.  Of course the very first time it happened, I held you in my arms all night long, so scared something would happen.  Your doctor told me I should have never picked you up.  Yeah right!  I'll never let you go through anything like that alone.  Do you trust me to keep you safe?

Thank You, God, for Mommy,
Her trust and faith in You.
She looks to you for answers, and
She knows you'll see us though.

Mommy has been struggling with this lately.  My faith is constantly being tested.  I don't believe God ever gives us anything bigger than what we can deal with now.  I do believe he tests us to get us through, but I will admit I have failed lately.  In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I have forgotten to pray.  I know I need to get back to praying daily.  God is the only one who knows my heart and he knows that I know what I need to do.  I still look to him for answers and always will.  I can't wait to teach you all about him!

Thank You, God, for Mommy
And lullabies so sweet-
The rhythm of her beating heart
Can sing me right to sleep.


Some of my best memories are of rocking you to sleep while singing "Hush Little Baby".  Or just humming "Rock-a-bye Baby".  Hailie you would never sleep upright on daddy's chest but as soon as your would lay your head down on mommy's chest, you would fall fast asleep.  It was pure bliss for you and me.

Thank You, God, for Mommy.
No matter what I do,
My Mommy always loves me, and...
Mommy, I love you too!

Thank You, God, for Hailie and Gracie!  Thank You, for trusting us!  We know they are true miracles and designed by your hand specifically for us.  I pray that we make you proud and them. 

Hailie & Gracie, mommy loves you as much as a mommy can love!

14 Months... And We're Moving People!!!

I obviously have some back tracking to do since I haven't blogged in a few months. Let me start with the girls 1st birthday that took place on Saturday, November 17, 2012.

The girls spent the better part of that week sick... very sick. I took them in a few times just to be told it was teething or a common cold. They seemed to be doing a little better the day before their birthday so we kept the party on schedule. They did very well the day of and even took a good three hour nap for mommy/daddy so we could get things set up. We did a cupcake themed party because well, they are my little cupcakes that I always say were baked to perfection inside mommies tummy. We had Lasagna Cupcakes, Pizza Cupcakes, Strawberry Cupcakes, and two Colossal Cupcakes. I give credit to a friend/coworker Stephanie Osborne for taking time out of her busy week to make the Colossal Cupcakes and then show up on Saturday morning (early) with the unexpected Lasagna Cupcakes. This young woman is awesome! I reached out of my comfort zone and attempted to make the Pizza Cupcakes, a Caprese Salad and Tri-color Pasta Dish. All of which got great reviews! As Stephanie would say... SCORE!

The decorations came out better than I expected.  I had a bit of trouble the night before because I forgot to order balloons.  Yikes!  I made a mad dash to Party City in Springfield to try and get the coordinating balloons.  I arrived at 9:58pm, just two minutes before closing.  They didn't have the cupcake balloon I needed, except in a package deal for $20.  I only needed one balloon out of the package and that was the very big cupcake.  The one balloon was $16.99 and I was willing to pay that... don't ask... I was tired and it was late.  I wasn't about to pay $25.00 for a package of five balloons when I only needed one.  The young, high school aged girl told me she would just give me the one balloon out of there for the same price as the one on the wall, BUT her manager wouldn't let her.  So you know me, I asked to speak to him/her.  That's when Herold popped around the corner.  He was the store manager and quickly told me that he couldn't open up a perfectly good package of balloons just to sell me one.  So I quickly told him that it wasn't my fault he was out of the one and only balloon I needed and that it shouldn't be advertised that the item is still available.  I asked him to just sell me the balloon that was on the wall since it was already blown up.  He said he couldn't do that because it was filled with something Nitrogen something or other and wouldn't float.  I must admit that it took a minute to process it because I clearly saw it floating on the wall.  Yeah... don't ask.  Herold shook his head at me and said... NO!  Did Herold know who he was talking to?  I mean I'm sure he was quite amused by the little 4'11" blonde woman who showed up at 9:58pm on a Friday evening in her pj's and slippers with hair is in a jacked up ponytail/bun/wispy updo.  Did he not see the look of desperation with a side of, "It's my twins 1st birthday and I WANT that dang balloon and if you don't sell it to me I'm going to have a breakdown right in the middle of your store, which will keep you here even later than you are right now."  It took me a few minutes to gather my jumbled thoughts and came up with this... "Herold... Herold... Herold... do you know what tomorrow is?  Do you know that it's my twin girls 1st birthday?  I mean it's kind of a big deal Herold.  I just spent a lot of money in here last week buy every type of cupcake decoration you have.  The only thing that would make this complete and no less than perfect Herold is that one balloon.  Do you see my dilemma Herold?  Can you imagine the look of disappointment on my girls faces when they don't get a BIG CUPCAKE balloon?  Work with me Herold?  I know you have a heart in there."  As I proceed to poke my finger on his chest multiple times.

Herold walks away from me... then turns around, comes back and tells the young high school aged girl to give me the one cupcake balloon out of the package for the same price as the one on the wall.  I mean in my mind I'm thinking, "Well duh Herold, does kinda seem fair since you're out of the exact same balloon that is sold individually."  But I was making progress with Herold so I kept my thoughts in my thought bubble.  I quickly turned in Herold's direction and ran to him and gave him a HUGE hug.  He was scared.  I mean who wouldn't be.  He then looked at the young high school aged girl and told her to give me the entire package of cupcake balloons for $15.99 and then he quickly took off down the aisle.  I yelled to him, "YOU'RE THE MAN HEROLD, YOU'RE THE MAN!"  He yelled back, "I KNOW!  I'M A TWIN MYSELF."  Haha!!!!

Now with all the logistics out of the way, its time to talk about the party.  The girls had so much fun having their Cousins Marty and Reese, Aunt Brandy, Uncle Kevin, Grandma Pat, Grandma Sandy, and Grandad Sam hangout with them all day.  They even missed their afternoon nap, which was okay for this one occasion.  What I should have realized earlier was that my girls never had taken long naps like that before so it should have been a red flag. The party was success up until Gracie started struggling to breathe.  Then Hailie.  My first thought was allergies to something cooked or baked, so we rushed the girls to the ER.  The doctor on call basically said we wasted our time bringing them in because it was just a cold and that babies who have post nasal drip or a lot of mucus will cough, which will make it seem like they can't breathe.  She said she was more concerned with Hailie because she has a murmur but she wasn't concerned enough to give her nebulizer treatments.  I was so drained I didn't question her, which I usually would because I knew something was wrong with my girls.  We went ahead and took the girls home since it was late and they were tired.

Two days later we took the girls to their regular doctor (because they were closed Sunday), and it turns out the girls both had RSV.  I was beyond mad... I was in a rage and ready to go back up and find that doctor.  I didn't obviously because I'm still here to write this blog entry.

Thanksgiving was a few days later and the girls were very sick.  We took them over to my sisters, despite the RSV.  They weren't running fevers and they had been stuck in the house for two weeks (because I would never take them to daycare sick).  We had a nice time at my sisters and got to enjoy a couple days of yummy goodness too.

The girls finally were over the RSV just in time for December to roll around.  Mommy went back to work and they returned daycare.  On December 16th we took them to see Santa for the first time.  That was fun!  Both girls laughed at the big fat man with the white beard (real by the way).  Gracie would wave to him in the line and yell, "Hi Anta!  Hi Anta!".  He couldn't resist the cuteness and messed up a few of this other portraits by waving back to her or looking over at her.  The line was full of laughter and at times waves of "Awws" filled the area we were in as Gracie continued to seek Santa's attention.

Soon after visiting Santa Gracie decided she wanted to start walking.  It was definitely entertaining because every time she would fall forward she would crack up laughing.  This was awesome to watch and I'm so glad that I got it on video.  Now if only I would get around to uploading those.  Haha!

By Monday, Hailie was puking everywhere.  Gracie followed suit a couple days later.  What was suppose to be a fun vacation spent hanging out with just me and my girls turned into weeks of cleaning up tons of vomit and changing the worst dirty diapers ever.  The girls started to feel better after a few days.  Then on the morning of Christmas Eve whatever they had hit me like a ton of bricks.  I will spare you but it did land me in the ER for fluids, Zofran, and Morphine.  I stayed home Christmas Eve while Mac took the girls to open up their one gift.  When they got home Hailie started puking again.  I was determined to stay home on Christmas Day but my family said no, just to bring them over for a little while and then go back home.  So we did.  And the girls were actually feeling much better that day.  Not even a runny nose!  Amen!  I don't even really remember parts of it, but was glad that girls enjoyed their time with their family again.  That night I got a text that my brother-in-law was not feeling good.  Then a few hours later one from my sister.  Then a few hours later one from my mom.  WHAT THE HECK?  This flu going around had been bad.

So I took the next two weeks and did nothing.  Just stayed inside with my girls.  They were doing much better, but the doctors were concerned about the amount of weight they had lost.  I'm happy to report that they actually have gained the weight back and are doing well.  We're just dealing with dealing with teething right now... I'll take that any day over whatever it was they had during the holidays.

I'm only attaching a picture of the girls with Santa and a couple from the photo shoot I did with the girls for our holiday card.  If you want to see all the Christmas photos you'll need to friend me on Facebook.  There's just way too many to post here.

October, November and December were just bad months for sickness with the girls.  I am so thankful they have been doing well since New Year's.  I pray that they have a better year and better health!  These girls are in full walking mode and are a movin' and I really want them to be able to enjoy this phase of their life.

Thank you to everyone who has played a role in my girls short 14 months on this earth!  This include people at church, work, and Facebook.  Although most of you who comment on their pics or videos have never met them, your prayers and thoughts are very much appreciated.  These little cupcakes are love all across the country and I am beyond proud to be their mother!

Happy New Year!!!

11.5 Months... 12 Days to go Until the Big Day!

I just realized what a bad job I've been doing on keeping up with our blog. I could totally cut myself a little slack and say that I have twins so I just don't have the time. The truth is though, I do have the time, but only when they're sleeping. Which if any of you know my girls, they take after their daddy, who does NOT like to sleep. I really did pray while I was pregnant that at least one of my girls would like to sleep. Yup, nope, that didn't happen. They like fuss because their so tired but sleep... what is that?
DST (Daylight Savings Time) started off good but hasn't gone exactly the way I would like. Hailie slept ALL night (it was daddy's night with her). Gracie on the other hand was up at 3am (her normal is 4am), but I was able to get her back down around 4:30am and she slept until 6:30am, which would have been 7:30am if we didn't have to put the clocks back. She wakes up every morning and says, "Ellll da... Ellll da", obviously calling Zelda to come join her on our bed. So, unfortunately it was mommy's night with Gracie but that's okay because I got to cuddle with that little bundle of fire. The day after wasn't so great. The girls were and have been crabby and went to bed at 6:30pm last night and up at 4:30am. When does this get better? When will they get it? Oh wait, that's bound to never happen if they're anything like me because I still don't like it and the time change really does a number on me.

It's been four months since my last post and my oh my a lot has changed. Hailie is an official walker. It is the cutest thing ever. I'm not sure she can get anymore proud of herself. She makes the sweetest faces and the sounds that comes from that little mouth is too much for me to handle at times. She loves to hug and snuggle. She definitely is my emotional baby. Her feelings get hurt very easy so I know we're going to have to tread lightly with her in the future. Now Gracie on the other hand is our little defiant spit fire animal lover. LOL. She has a love for animals of all kinds, including stuffed one. The majority, if not all of her animals have some kind of funky drool laden, food infested gook on them because she is always "mouth wide open" kissing them. Beware, she is a kisser and she isn't worried about how much drool falls in your mouth or on your face. She eagerly awaits Zelda to lay down so she can again, "mouth wide open" grab her by her whiskers and plant one right on her tongue. Yes, I know what you're thinking... "OMG... I can't believe she lets her kids do that.", "Oh gross!", "That's disgusting.", "Bad parenting." Uh, sure, you can think all of those things but don't dare let me hear you say them. Haha! I, we, try our best to shield the girls from slobbery doggy kisses but sometimes accidents happy. I'm just happy that my girls love animals and aren't afraid of them. At least not right now. And I'm so extremely blessed to have a 120lb dog who LOVES these girls. She even whines when they cry. They have a bond and I couldn't be happier. I just wish Gracie would stop being slick and feeding Zelda her puffs and Mum Mum's. LOL! Gracie has started to stand by herself unassisted and I'm sure will be walking very soon. She's going to be our brainiac I think. She likes to dissect things and then try and do them. She also has about eight words in her little vocabulary, "Ma ma", "Da da", "El da", "Cook Cook (Cookie Monster)", "Ba ba", "Uh oh", "Ar fa (careful)", and "El ma (Elmo)". She also attempts to say Big Bird but I wouldn't even begin to know how to spell out how she says it. Haha! As I mentioned before, she is my little spit fire. She will slap, scrape and poke you when she's mad. Yes, she gets mad. I think she gets this from me, but not because she's seen me do it. LOL! We've had a couple bad round of sickness. First Hand, Foot & Mouth Disease (still upset about this one), and now going through the classic change of weather sickness. This one is actually worse than HFMD. The girls are miserable. Can I say that again? They are miserable. It's no fun for them or us. I'm just hoping it runs its course quickly so I can have my fun loving little cupcakes back.

They will be turning one on the 17th of this month and although I'm happy for them I'm also very sad. I don't want my little babies to grow up. I am loving this age and phase when they want to try so many new things and accomplishing so much, but still need me at the same time. I know that each milestone is better than the last and that it gets to be more fun the older they get, but I still don't want them to grow anymore. LOL! I'm planning a small, intimate gathering for family. I have a really small house and it wouldn't fit all of the people I would want to invite. There have been a lot that have been a huge part of the girls life, as well as ours. Of course it's going to be a cupcake themed party. Uh duh, did you really think it would be anything but? Geez!!!! Picked up some cute decorations, not the ones I wanted but I'm a full time working mom and just don't have time to DIY anything. I'm hoping the girls will look back on this birthday and know that it was one that we are so thankful for. We just never imagined it happening and here God blessed us two-fold. There's so much to be celebrated that day! It's been an emotional, wild and love filled 11.5 months since my little girls arrived. And when I say little, I mean little. Hailie just hit 19lbs, but she lost a few when she was sick. Gracie just hit 18lbs. She's slowly catching up to her sister. Two very different body type, two very different personalities, but two very very beautiful and sweet baby girls. I love them with all my heart... when I say all I mean all people. They are my world!!! I am told often that I need to take time for myself but honestly I can't. I miss my girls so much during the day. So much so that my heart literally aches, and the last thing I want to do is to spend another hour away from them to go workout or get my eyebrows done. I would rather be spending it with them. So yes, eventually I will get around to working out and lost this 30lbs I gained since having them, and eventually I will get around to waxing the two bushes that are housed over my eyeballs, but for right now I'm content to look like an unpruned topiary.

7 Months... We're Making Memories!!!

Where has the time gone? Can I please inject my girls with a potion that will stop their growth now (please no one turn me in for child abuse or mental illness)? I'm at a point in the girls life where I just want them to stop growing. They are so adorable and they still rely on me. I'm so scared of not being needed. Is this normal?

We have been making a lot of great memories. The girls are reaching milestones that you and I take for granted. I marvel at Hailie's strength and determination. That girl will be crawling very soon. She can now get up on all four's and move back and forth, we'll this morning she actually made the motion and crawled... backward. It was adorable! She was trying hard to get over to her sister and with every movement she just kept getting further and further away. She had eventually crawled her way backward clear to the other side of the room. It was amazing to watch. Little Bit is making great strides as well. She can now hoist herself up on her arms and hold there for a few seconds. Some may think that she's behind, but it's okay, she's little. It will take her time to build those muscles up. She's still babbling and moving those hands and feet nonstop. We think we're going to have one who's a little more book smart and one who's going to be a little more athletic. Either way, they are both going to be given the same amount of love and affection that they deserve.

I've started reading a new trilogy... "Baby Signs", "Baby Hearts" and "Baby Minds". Anyone who knows me knows how hard it is for me to find five minutes to do something relaxing, like read, so I read them during my lunch hour at work. I recently finished "Baby Signs" and can't wait to start working with the girls. If they pick it up quickly it will be a lifesaver. We're not concentrating on strict ASL signing, but rather baby friendly signs to help Mac and I understand their needs a little better. I'm enjoying reading "Baby Hearts" at the moment but I have bouts of complete sadness. I've only made it to Chapter Two, which talks about how the hearts of babies are so delicate and how if you heart that little heart it can cause it become hard and pitted, like a peach seed. It speaks of security attachment and how if we don't provide for them so early on that they will likely go through their infancy feeling insecure and unloved. I'm getting choked up just writing this. The thought that I have ever done anything to my girls to cause their little hearts to hurt stirs emotions greater than a F5 tornado.

So how have the girls been doing over the last few months? Very well thank you! They are growing at a good rate but still in the lower percentiles for their height. Hailie is in the 25th-50th percentile for her weight and Gracie is in the 5th-10th percentile. I don't really do anything with these numbers when the doctors give them to us. As long as she says they are growing nicely then I'm happy. I know Little Bit is putting on weight because she's starting to develope little chubby cheeks. Nothing like Miss Hailie though. They are both below the 5th percentile for their height but it's okay, they're going to be petite like their momma. LOL!

The girls are starting to add new sounds to their vocabulary which makes for the best entertainment when they start chatting with one another. I hate to eavesdrop so early on but I can't help it. They are more and more interested in books. Hailie coos everytime her daddy reads, "Thank You God for Daddy" (thank you Stephanie Brooks) and Little Bit cracks up every time I read "Goodnight Moon" (thank you momma Liz - RIP). I'm not sure why she thinks it's so funny but that's okay. I never pass up an opportunity to see my girls smile and laugh. Both like to reach out and touch the books now. Hailie is a page turner though so I can see we're going to have a battle on our hands later on. Ha!
Both girls are getting plenty of leg exercise with some added development stuff in there as well. Little Bit is a fan of the Jumperoo and Hailie likes the Exersaucer. Tried to switch them a couple days ago and that didn't go so well. Switched them back and both were happy as could be. Miss Hailie is sitting up on her own unassisted for just under a minute and Little Bit can make it a few seconds before she starts to resemble the Leaning Tower of Pisa. LOL.

We've booked our family beach trip to Chincoteague Island the last week of August. I am so excited to see how the girls like the beach. I purchased a neat little cabana for them, and us to, so we can stay out of the sun when we're resting. I am hoping the girls like the beach and hoping that they will actually sleep on the beach or I can see myself having to stay inside more than I'd like. We rented a house on the channel so I'm hoping that Mac and I can spend some quality time fishing while the girls nap or while they play. I figure they'll be 9 months at that time so they should be a little better at sitting up and playing. Thank goodness for Pack-n-Plays, but I'm afraid my girls will not like this new found idea of mine. We'll have to start trying to put them in it next month to get them use to it.

Well until next time, God Bless. I hope to blog a little more frequently but I think I said that last time too. Welcome to the wonderful life of being a new mom to twincesses!!!! I wouldn't trade this life for any other in the world!

Oh and you ask am I still sleep deprived? HA HA HA HA... is that a joke?

Easter 2012 - The Girls 1st Easter

Kodak Gallery: Brit's Photos - Easter 2012 - The Girls 1st Easter

What an exciting weekend for the girls and our family!!!

Saturday we took the girls to see the Easter Bunny for the first time.  They were neither excited or afraid.  In fact, Gracie almost fell asleep on the bunny's lap and Hailie just had a look on her face like "Hurry up so I can get back to sleep."  Both girls made mommy and daddy very proud!!  They got a lot of attention of course.  Anytime you go somewhere with a long tandem stroller with matching car seats and two babies dressed a like you always get:

Stranger: "Awwwww, are they twins?"
Mom:  "Nope, I just got pregnant twice at the same time and had them back-to-back."

Stranger:  "Are they boys?" 
Mom:  "Yup, they were having a huge clearance sale on the magenta flowered car seats.  And we're allowing them to express themselves freely even at such a young age by letting them wear lilac pants and flowered bibs."

NOOOOOO they are not boys!!!!  Geez!!!!  Haha!

After seeing the bunny and spending way too much on pictures, we went over to Aunt Brandy's to dye eggs with the family.  I dyed one egg this year but it was a cool one.  :)

Sunday was a great day!!  We started off at church, where the girls were a HUGE hit.  They received a lot of looks and attention.  I'd like to think it's just because their so dang cute but I'm sure the little frilly outfits they had on played a part.  The girls did excellent in the service.  At one point Hailie started babbling to grandma and granddaddy and a sea of heads turned around to see where that cute little voice was coming from.  Nothing like the purity of a babies babbles.  Mac had to take Gracie out in the the atrium because she was babbling too loud.  I'm so grateful we have a Pastor who loves kids.

After church we went back to Brandy's where the girls received more Easter surprises from the bunny.  The girls looked on as Cousin Reese and Marty ran around looking for eggs.  Yes, Marty may be 15 but when the bunny hides eggs with money in them, I don't think there's an age limit.  LOL!!!  We finished up the day with baths and called it a night.

I'm so grateful to have these two beautiful babies as my daughters.  We were reminded this weekend just how truly blessed we are.  God has shined his light down on our family.  This past weekend was such a good lesson on never giving up on God and the miracles he can create.  Hailie and Gracie have been awesomely created by God especially for us and I intend on trying my hardest to be the best mother I can be... even if they don't want to talk to me when they're teenagers.  Haha!

I love you my precious little cupcakes!!!  You bring such tremendous joy to my life!!!

3.5 Months... What A Ride!

So it's March already? Really? Where has the time gone? I feel like it was just yesterday we were bringing the girls home from the hospital. The past few months have been an adventure. As I keep venturing down memory lane remember all the good days and bad days, I'm brought back to November 17th when God blessed us with two perfect little girls.

The past two years had been full of highs (two pregnancies) and lows (two miscarriages). Then having a very long and difficult pregnancy was just as taxing emotionally. There wasn't a day that went by that I wasn't reminded about how quickly things can change and go in a direction that isn't as promising.

Throughout the past two years the one thing I never did was give up on God. He had a plan for us and everything I went through was leading up to the best day of my life. I trusted Him for He is the only one that knows my destiny. I will NEVER give up on him.

Just look at this perfect picture of peace... this is what it's all about for me these days.


I wouldn't change how things played out for a minute. Well maybe I would forego all the water weight and mini stroke I suffered in the hospital after delivery but that's small in comparison to how great my life is now.

I thank you Father for not giving up on me... for not giving up on us... for trusting us to care for and raise two of your precious children. I hope I make you proud... and them!

37 1/2 Weeks... 0 Days to Go!

The morning started off rainy and cold. I hopped in the shower around 6am... the whole time thinking that in less than 5 hours I would be a mom. It's the weirdest feeling I've ever had. It's not like getting married. It's much bigger than that. All things considered my nerves were pretty settled. I think I was more nervous about Zelda having to spend the night at Old Towne Pet Resort. I requested extra special attention for her but my poor baby was going to have to be without us for a night.

We arrived at the hospital around 7:15am and were escorted up to Labor & Delivery. Getting on that elevator was both scary and exciting. We sat in the waiting room where I had been a few times before when I thought I was miscarrying. It's a scary feeling but I knew that this time it was different. I had watched so many husbands/partners walk through those same doors that Mac was about to walk through, all just as nervous as they wait in those dorky paper suits. Most paced and some prayed. I remember smiling at them and thinking how lucky they were. But now it was our turn.

The receptionist in the L&D department was so excited we were expecting twins. She asked if she could take our picture before we went back. Of course we said yes, although I was hesitant because I was huge from the stomach down. Ugh! Shortly after she snapped that pic they called me back.

I was greeted by the cutest little nurse. She reminded me of a cute little old grandma. She had me change into a gown and use the restroom. We had about two hours before delivery so I knew I was going to use the bathroom at least 8 more times. Ha! The cute little nurse asked if she could see the swelling in my legs and I swear I could have caught her eyeballs in my hand if she would have looked anymore shocked. Her eyes filled with tears because she said she knew I had to be in a lot of pain and she assured me she was going to take care of me. She quickly hooked me up with fluids and made a few phone calls. The next thing I know I have three doctors and the anesthesiologist at my bedside. They were all feeling my legs. Quite embarrassing. The one doctor was a big wig and said that we would have to postpone delivery until we got the swelling under control. I was devastated. We had wait two years for this exact moment in time and I didn't want to wait. After about 30 minutes they all came back and told me that we would be going back at 10am for delivery. Uh, okay, but that was my regularly scheduled time anyway so thanks for the scare. Geez!

At around 10:00am I was told to say "see ya" to Mac and was escorted down a long cold hall and then into "the room". I have always heard how cold and sterile it feels but I wasn't prepared for it. There was about 10 people in there all adorning smocks, masks and gloves. I just had a bad feeling. All I wanted was Mackie but he was still waiting outside the door. As I entered the room I was greeted by all of them who all congratulated me on making it this long and doing was what best for our girls. They seemed just excited as me. They quickly put me on the table and a nice gentlemen introduced himself to me and told me that he would be helping me through the "spinal". At that point I felt my heart beat increase. This was the part I was most nervous about. I had a spinal tap at 17 so I know how bad it can hurt but I was told countless times by the anesthesiologist that this was nothing like that. So as I sit on the table with my hands resting on this guys shoulders he tells me to just sit still because the needle was about to go on. The tears started rolling...

"You're okay Brit."
“We need you to relax Brit."
"Please relax your back Brit."

In my head saying, 'OHHHHH MY GOOOOOSH!!!!' I couldn't bare to open my mouth.

"Brit, please relax. We have to try another needle. We can't get this one in."

In my head saying, 'OHHHH CRAAAAP!!!!' I still couldn't open my mouth.

"Brit, we apologize. We are having trouble getting this needle in as well. Please bare with us."
In my head saying, 'OWWWWWWWW!!!!!' Still can't open my mouth.

After four tries I hear, "Please page Dr. (so and so) and have him come down. We can't get any of these spinal needles to go in."

"Brit, we apologize. We are going to try one more thing."

In my head saying, 'You are such a liar McDreamy. You said you were going to take care of me.'

Finally after a few minutes that same big wig from earlier came down and told them to go ahead and try the spinal tap needle. After five time of being poked in the back they finally got the needle in. They told me they were going to put my legs up on the table because I wasn't going to be able to feel them. But not even thinking I swung my legs up on the table and about five of them turned around and said, "Who did that." I told them I did. Their response, "You did? You're not supposed to be able to feel them." Uh, okay, but I do. The looks on their faces was priceless. After a few minute though I got this rush of warmth through my body and I knew that the medicine was finally working.

And there was Mac. I was so relieved. He kept asking me if I was okay but he was all over the place. He was looking all around, but still trying to be there for me. At this point everything went by so fast but took so long, if that makes sense. I could feel every little pull and push. I remember not being able to breathe. Oh man, I thought I was dying. My heart rate dropped enough that they had to stop surgery and put oxygen on me. I remember saying to myself, "Dear Father, you brought me this far. Don't take me away from my girls now."

And then it happened... a little faint cry... and I hear, "It's a girl, Baby A, out at 10:31am." I lost it. I wanted to see Gracie Rae so bad but I couldn't move. And then as I waited to hear Hailie, all I heard was, "It's a girl, Baby B, out at 10:32am." But there was no cry. I could still hear Gracie with her pitiful little cry. Then I hear, “Baby B has faulted.” What… what the heck does that mean. I told Mac to get the heck up and go check on Hailie. And then I finally, after what seemed like a few minutes but was really only seconds I heard Hailie. It was the most beautiful sound (ask me about that sound a little later on and I’ll tell you something different… haha). My two beautiful babies were here. They were here!!!! Gracie was 5 pounds, 7 ounces and 19.5 inches. Hailie was 6 pounds, 5 ounces and 19.5 inches. They were perfect! No NICU time!!!

Around 11am I was wheeled into the recovery room. Okay, I thought the room was going to be a room just for me but nope, I was in a triage style room with a lot of other women who had just given birth. Two women swept in to give me pain pills and hand me a baby. Great combination huh? At 12:35pm she puts Hailie on my chest so we could do some skin-to-skin bonding. I remember just staring at her with the purest emotions running through my body. She was mine!!!!

The next thing I remember was getting more pain medicine and being wheeled up to my private room while holding both of my little girls. As we turned the corner there was Sam standing at the end of the hall with his video camera rolling. He was SO excited that he walked backward right into the laundry bin, almost falling. It was quite entertaining to watch. Then he quickly rushed into my room to shoot more video. But he had to go out of town so as quickly as he rushed in, he rushed back out. I was so glad he got to see them.

The rest of the day is pretty much a blur. I know my sister and mom came to see the girls. There were a lot tears shed that day... only this time they were tears of JOY!

God truly blessed our family on November 17, 2011!!!

36 Weeks... 13 Days to Go!

I'm a OOMPA LOOMPA!!!!

Okay, maybe not but I sure feel like it. I'm 36 weeks/1 day and the swelling just seems to be getting worse. It's to be expected though. OB says its just late pregnancy edema. Means that my body is preparing for delivery. Not a great deal has happened in four weeks since my last post, just a lot of doctors appointments, aches/pains, increased laundry and some serious nesting.

10/18/2011 - 33 Week appointment went good. The girls were very active. Gracie is still very low and Hailie is hanging out up closer to my ribs. Gracie's abdomen is still smaller then Hailie's, but hopefully she starts growing. Doc said we don't need steroid shots at this point but if Gracie doesn't start putting on weight then I'll start the shots at the next visit.

10/22/2011 - One of the worst days of my life. Had to say goodbye to my pup pup Dexter. That's all I'm going to say because if I talk about it I'll break down hard. I'll just say that I am still broken. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I miss him so bad!

10/25/2011 - 34 Week appointment went good. The girls were very active again. Gracie is still extremely low. She has dropped further down. She's now sitting on the nerve that causes me to leak on myself. Don't laugh! I seriously end up peeing on myself and as nasty as it sounds there is nothing I can do. I keep asking her to move up a little, but it's a double-edge sword because her feet are stuck up in my ribs. There are times where her feet get stuck and she yanks them out and let me tell you... that HURTS!!!! I'm swelling really bad to the point where I can barely walk. My legs are taking on shapes of their own and it's nasty.

11/01/2011 - 35 Week appointment went okay. The girls have jumped to the 35th & 31st percentile for the weight, which is a blessing. Gracie has something called a Grade III Placenta. It means her placenta is calcifying/maturing and will soon stop functioning. Gracie still has a smaller abdomen and long legs. Seems like she's going to take after Mac. Hailie has a larger abdomen and short legs. She may resemble Mac but she's going to have my body. Poor girl!!! As for me, the swelling has doubled. This isn't good!

11/02/2011 - Had an appointment with my regular OB. He walked in and said, "You're going the distance girl." As much as I wanted to laugh, my lips were so swollen I couldn't get them to bend upwards to smile. He was going to send me home but looked at my legs and sent me to Fairfax Hospital L&D (Labor & Deliver) to be tested for Preeclampsia. Although my BP was normal and I had no protein in my urine, he just wanted to be safe. I was sent home after an hour or so. No preeclampsia, just all babies. There just isn't a lot of room anymore.

11/08/2011 - 36 Week appointment went okay. Both girls now have Grade III placentas. I was told that Gracie's amniotic fluid level was low (half of what Hailie's is), but was still in the normal range. Three of the antenatal specialists got together to talk it over and finally decided to let me go home. They want me to do kick counts every hour. If I feel less then 6.5 an hour then I need to call my OB. Not sure how you gauge the .5 but okay.

I have an appointment with my regular OB on Friday so we'll see what he says. I wonder if he'll have another funny for me. Every time I see him I end up at the hospital so we shall see. I honestly don't see how I can go another 13 days. I can barely walk, I pee on myself at least three times a night, I have pregnancy acne which resembles a 13 years old, and getting in and out of bed or sitting on the couch has become challenging. Because Gracie's feet are so far up in my ribs, getting off the toilet has turned into a major task. I think I have created a new Pilate's position. Oh please... don't say gross... I'm just saying.

All that being said, for those of you who aren't pregnant, it really is a wonderful feeling. I have had a horrible pregnancy... a lot worse then others I know, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Every time I feel a kick, a punch or a roll, it makes it all worth it. I can't wait to meet my girls. I continuously pray that they are healthy, both physically and mentally. And I pray that I can be a good mother. Can you tell my nerves are starting to set in?

Stay tuned...

32 Weeks... 42 Days to Go!

It's been a while since my last post but I've been going through bouts of emotional highs and lows. Let me see if I can back track and outline what's been going on in my world.

09/18/2011 - Had my first baby shower courtesy of the woman at church. Terri and Nancy, you guys are the best. I had a really good time. My mom, sister and niece came. It was good to see my sister since I had not seen her in months. I miss her. I got a lot of great gifts for the girls.

09/19/2011 - My appointment this morning didn't go great, but it wasn't horrible. The girls are measuring the same and weights are good. Gracie was practicing her breathing. It was adorable. The only negative of my appointment is my cervix is shortening. It was at a range of 2.5 to 2.7. The doctor suggested bed rest but told me to go to my primary OB and get his opinion.

09/23/2011 - Mac and I went to the appointment with my OB who said that today would be my last day at work. He wanted me to go on modified bed rest as of Monday. He doesn't want my cervix to shortening anymore.

09/26/2011 - My weekly appointment went well. My cervix has stayed the same. Looks like modified bed rest is helping. Had my Rhogam shot. I had been terrified for months but it ended up going great because I didn't have to get it in my hips. Yay!

10/02/2011 - Had my second baby shower. Kim, Missy and Erin, you awesome!!! It was awesome to be around such good friends. I got a lot of great things for the girls. I can't wait to put away all the cute clothes and wow... we have a lot of diapers. I think over 500 now. Nice!

10/03/2011 - Another appointment. Mom went with me. They checked my cervix, which went from a 2.7-2.17 in one week. I was put on strict bed rest. This was not good news because there is just WAY too much that needs to be done.

10/08/2011 - Received devastating news early this morning. A very dear friend of mine Liz passed away the night before. She had been battling Esphogeal Cancer, but we thought she was doing better. I know she felt under the weather, but this was the last thing I expected. Mac was just over to see her on Wednesday night. My heart is broken. I love this woman more then words can explain. She had a soul like no other and taught me a lot over the 20+ years I've known her. I feel for her family, especially her mom and son. I just know what to say. So sad right now!

10/10/2011 - What a day! My hour and a half week appointment turned into four hours. My cervix had shortened from a 2.3 to 1.9. So I'm still on continued strict bed rest. They checked the girls measurements. Hailie's estimated weight is 3lbs/9oz and Gracie's weight is 3lbs/4oz. My mom, Mac and I all didn't think there was a huge difference, however, the doctor was concerned and ordered more tests. She said what may not seem like a big difference actually is. That they need to monitor me a little more closely (not sure how much more they expect), which will include weekly hookups on the monitor and that they'll do another weight check on the girls in two weeks. I asked if there was anything I could do... drink more Ensure, eat more protein and her answer was a resounding... no... there is nothing I can do. That if she isn't picking up weight when they recheck then they'll have to do more testing. They'll check to see if it's being caused by the placenta or growth restriction. She said if it is growth restriction that they'll probably go ahead and take the girls early. She wants to start steroid injections just in case that happens.

We are praying that the girls continue to grow and that Gracie catches up quickly. I can't say I'm not afraid but I put all my trust in the Lord. He is the only one in control and I have my faith which keeps me from completely breaking down with worry.

10/11/2011 - Taking it easy today. Verizon came by to relocate the router out of the girls nursery. Now my mom can get busy on decorating the way she wants. Well some what the way she wants... haha... I can't relinquish full control.

The viewing for Liz is this evening, but I wasn't cleared to go. Mac is going to the funeral tomorrow. I hate that I can't be there, but the emotional stress they feel will be too much. I know it's for the best but I just hate it. She used to refer to the girls as her little "olives" and I know she would want me to keep them safe. I miss you momma! RIP

I have an appointment on Thursday with my primary OB. Not sure if she'll send me for the steroid injection or not. Everyone I've spoken to that has had them said that they give them to you in your behind. Oh great... I dodged the Rhogam injection in the behind but I don't think I'm going to dodge this one. I have to do what is best for the girls.

Still not sleeping. Between the back pain, frequent trips to the bathroom and Gracie's feet in my ribs, it doesn't leave much time for sleeping. I find myself watching TV or just staring at the ceiling. I think the worst part is knowing that I'll be laying in the bed or couch for the rest of the day... only getting up to use the restroom. I am happy to be at home though, so I'm not complaining.

Thank you all for your continued prayers!

Stay tuned...